Thank You For The Love

I want to thank everyone for the friendship and love you have shown to me and our family. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Today I worked on the details that go with the death of a loved one and that kept me busy.

Around 4:00 I just didn't know what to do with myself. I have been going to the hospital every day and now what do I do. I decided to do what I have been doing every Wednesday and that was to go to Scrap and Dash at my local scrapbook store. I did what I love and that is to scrapbook the ones I love. It was very calming and the love I find there is wonderful.

Once again my sister made dinner for me and Mom was there along with our friend Barbara and Misty kept us entertained. Thank you Jackie for all you do.

Some of you have asked the addresses for next week. First Congregational United Church, 235 Keniworth, Elmhurst, IL 60126. 630-832-2580 The Brauer House, 57 N. Hillside, Hillside, IL. 708-449-8900.

The Arrangements to Celebrate Jim's Life

James Frederick Chiszar
December 1, 1940 – April 29, 2008
James F. Chiszar, 67, Sarasota, formerly of Naperville, Illinois, died April 29, 2008, from complications following open heart surgery. He fought a long and courageous battle with humor and patience.

A celebration of his life with be held May 9th at the First Congregational Church in Elmhurst, Illinois, at one o’clock. His family asks you join them afterward at the Brauer House, Hillside, to toast Jim’s life.

He is survived by his loving wife of nine years, Patricia; children, Thomas Chiszar, Sedona, Arizona, Robert Chiszar, daughter-in-law, Teresa, and three grandchildren, who were the joy of his life, Jackson, Joshua and Lucas, all of Bolingbrook, Illinois, and daughter Kathryn Chiszar, Naperville, Illinois; brother Robert Chiszar, Mokena, Illinois, and his sisters, Caroline Runnion and Nancy Chiszar, both of South Bend, Indiana. He was preceded in death by his beloved wife Sally Haley Chiszar.

James was a loving husband, father and avid bridge player. He retired to Sarasota in March of 2007, and all he wanted to do was play duplicate bridge. He was a member of the American Contract Bridge Association and had attained the rank of Silver Life Master. He was also a member of the South Bend Polish Falcon Nest.

Jim was born and raised in South Bend, Indiana. He graduated from Ball State University and worked as a teacher for three years before signing with Brown Paper Company. One of his biggest customers, Quality Chek’d, hired him to be their director of purchasing and he stayed in that position for 17 years. He began a second career in 1994 as a Tournament Bridge Director, a job he truly loved.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Multiple Sclerosis Society 2701 Maitland Center Pkwy - Suite100, Maitland, FL 32751 or online at Website: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/flc. Or the American Contract Bridge Association Education Foundation, 2990 Airways Blvd., Memphis, TN 38116.

Jim Is Now With God

We lost my loving Jim last night. The doctors were right when they told me it would be up to Jim when he would decide to go. He was fine when I left him at 6:00. By 8:00 his blood pressure was dropping. I went to the hospital and his BP was dangerously low. While I was there he responded to me and the pressure came up somewhat. I left him about 10:30 thinking he would be OK. By 12:30 he was gone. I went to him and said one last good bye. I told him how loved he was and that he would always walk beside me. I had also told him this earlier.

I will be taking Jim back to Chicago for a memorial service. Once I know the details I will let everyone know.

His struggle is over and he is now with God. Go in peace my love and know that I will always love you.

Challenge is Low Blood Pressure

Sorry I haven't blogged in a few days. I've spent a lot of time at the hospital and just too tired when I come home. Jim had a really good weekend and I have been enjoying those days.

Today is not so good but we knew there were challenges ahead. Tonight the hospital called and I went in. His blood pressure is dangeriously low. His heart rate and oxygen levels are normal and he has no temp. The blood pressure is just low. He may becoming septic again. We are not sure. I'll let you know as I know. It was 72 over 45 when I left. When I got there it was 45 over 23.

I'm saying my prayers.

Off the Vent Some Today

Yeah!!! They took Jim off the vent for awhile today and his oxygen level stayed at 100 percent. He was off for an hour and everything went well. He look so pleased with himself. Talking was a bit of a problem because it has been so long since he talked. He did get a few words out but they were very soft. Speech therapy is going to work with him on Monday with that. I just talked to the hospital and all of his vital signs are normal and he has no temp. For now he's just fine and we are enjoying each day as it comes.

Thank you Jackie for babysitting Misty tonight while I went to Scrapbook Therapy. You are the best.

Ugly Betty is Back

Tonight I went to see Jim at 8:00 so we could watch Ugly Betty together. What fun that was because it is one of our favorite shows and Jim loved that I was there to watch it with him. I couldn't stay for Grey's because visiting hours were over but the nurse told me he watched the whole show because she was in there with him and watching it with him.

No changes today. Everything is pretty much the same. We had a good day.

Got good news today that Jim's nephew does not need to have a heart transplant. Karen that is such wonderful news. Our hearts and prayers are with you. Jimmy is way to young to be facing these challenges. Hope this new medication works for him. Love to all.

Wednesday Update

Jim is still doing great for someone in his condition. Doctor's report: She added an anti-depressant to the food supplement and several of his other medications. Now that they have stopped the TPN and added the tube feeding they can give him his medication. His sugar levels have been a little high the past couple of days because of the new food supplements. She has added lantin to the mixture. That should bring down the level. Wounds are so ever slowly healing. He's alert and communicative. Still can't seem to get the vent off but we keep trying. He seems more alert at night. The nurses say he has turned his days upside down. He stayed awake at noon for Las Vegas and then this afternoon for Mash. Other than that he slept the rest of the time. Just now the nurses said he was awake and watching TV. So I guess he is turned around. He did say to me today, "take me home." It may come to thing if they stop the dialysis. The doctor and I talked a little about this today and it is a possibility.

Mom, Jackie and I went to bingo last night. I won 3 bingo's, Mom one and Jackie one plus she won the door prize. A good night for all.

This digital layout is part of my online digtal graphic class. It has taken me most of the past week to finish. I feel like I am really learning a lot. Hope it helps me get a job.

I went to the grocery store tonight. I think it was the first time since maybe February. I guess that is Mom and Jackie's fault for taking care of me. I passed several the things I bought on to Jackie to stock up for more cooking. Go Jackie.

Jackie and I took Misty for a run/walk tonight. I walked, Jackie rode her bicycle and Misty ran. In fact Jackie held on to the leash part of the time and she did not even have to pedal because Misty was pulling her on. We laughed so hard. Night all.

Even Doctor Surprised Today

Jim was even more alert today and even surprised Dr. Liggett. She said wow he's communicating with me today.

Saturday they started Jim on a heavier food substance through a tube they inserted in his nose that goes directly to his stomach. They could not do this surgically because of the past tube. The reason for this is that Jim has to be off of the TPN to move on to the next step as I explained a couple of days ago. He is tolerating it really well and it has even boosted his energy level. There is also a decreased issue of infection because it does not go through his blood vessels like the TPN. The TPN should be stopped tomorrow. He says he does not even feel it. When the doctor asked him today if he had any pain he shook his head no. She said to him you are my iron man.

So we proceed with out goals and hope for the best.

Jim in hospital 11 months

Jim has now been in the hospital 11 months. This has been an incredible journey for both of us. We have grown closer through this illness. When you spend everyday with another person with no outside activities it brings you closer together. In these 11 months there has only been one time I left him and that was when I went to Chicago. Other than that I have only missed one day with him. We have talked about so many things and about what we what. Jim has always said he wants to fight this illness. He has never waivered from this point. He has asked me to be there beside him in this fight. I can do no less for him.

However, we are losing this battle. The doctors tell me that the chance for recovery is very small and the doctors use words like, bleak and dismal. They also use words like rally and amazing. Our goal is to get Jim off dialysis and the ventilator and then to either go to Hospice House or to come home. The doctor says that a skilled nursing facility is awful and he will get virtually no care. He will probably come off dialysis this week as his kidneys are now functioning. Because of this we may be forced to leave Health South. Jim can not go to Hospice House if he is still on the ventilator. We tried today to get him off the vent and it did not go very well. We will continue to try this every day. He was alert and interacting with me today. When I left he was watching Matlock and you could tell he was actually watching it.

We will just have to see how this goes. I have had to make some very hard decisions and the decisions I have made I feel are what Jim wants and because of that then this is what we'll face together. The two layouts are both digital. Something that I do to keep my mind off of my troubles.

Jim is doing fine

I just left Jim and he's doing just fine. He's alert and watching TV. All of his vital signs are normal. The abscess he had several weeks ago has quit draining and there is just a very small hole there now. They took the wound vac off of the chest wound because the wound is so small they can no longer get a good seal on the wound. They are changing the dressings twice a day. His bed sore seems to be slowly healing. As for the infections inside his body we are not sure what is going on there because it is hard to tell. Tomorrow they are going to try him off of the vent and let him try to talk. It has been awhile so speech therapy may have to work with him on this. Tonight we interacted and he puckered up his lips for a kiss. You have to love that.

I've been really busy and have not been home much. Plus I spend a lot of time at the hospital especially now while he is alert.

Dialysis Cut Down

The doctors have decided that Jim's kidneys are working much better and have decided to cut dialysis from 3 days to 2. Good news for a change. Jim is strong willed and he will decide if he wants to get better or not. During dialysis today he was not as responsive as he has been during the past week. Hope it was just the dialysis that was draining him and not the infections.

So did I say yesterday that winter was here. Only a high of 67 today. I even wore long pants and the walk tonight was really chilly.

Went to bingo tonight and we were losers. One guy won 4 bingos. He was Mr. Piggy.

I'm still working on my digital class. I'm using some of Jim's old photos. I thought it would be fun to highlight some of his earlier years. He seems to enjoy them when I take them in for him to see. Night all.

Happy Birthday Teresa

Happy Birthday Teresa!

Today is my daughter-in-law's birthday. Enjoy your special day today.

Love Patty and Jim

PS Watch the mail today.

"Truly An Amazing Man"

I keep practicing on my digital layout class. I haven't started today's class because it is going to be so intense that I just didn't want to start today. Maybe tomorrow. This was a prompt from this weekend's assignments.

Dr. L wasn't back today from her vacation but lo and behold I did talk with Dr. H. To quote him, "He is truly an amazing man. It is going to take an even bigger bug to bring him down." He went on to say that Jim is "very" stable and his kidney function is returning. He is meeting with Dr. L and the kidney doctors in the morning to discuss his situation and possible discontinuation of dialysis. So you know what I know. He's awake and alert. Wants to go home!!!!! He asked me to take him home today. If only I could I would do it for him. The lung doc told me today he's improving and his vent status is good and continuing to improve. Yes he is an amazing man.

Winter has returned to Florida. It is currently 63 degrees outside and we only had a high today of 65. Now that is winter for us. It is so wonderful to have this break in the heat. Last week we hit 90 and you know that will continue until October. I am doing all of my outside chores this week. I got the porch clean and the carport. Picked fruit. Yes I still have several hundred oranges still on the tree. Orange juice anyone?

Misty and I took a walk and she played by the lake. It is so good for both of us. Just got back from the night walk and it was a little chilly out there. Night all.

Little Change

There was very little change today except he may have been a little more tired. I played "guy" for him. I was switching the channels between the Masters, the Cubs and the Socks. Since the hospital remote doesn't have numbers you have to go up and down. What a pain. They need new remotes to mimic the "guy" thing.

Temperatures cooled today. 87 yesterday and 68 for a high today. I wish this would stay around. I took advantage of the cooler temps and planted some flowers in my planter in from of the house. Misty tried to help but we had a good time anyway.

Thanks Mom for making dinner, the shrimp stir fry was great. I don't know if I shared with you that my sister brought me flowers during my melt down last week. Love you Jackie and they are still pretty.

e.

Friday Morning

I just wanted to share this layout. It is my 2nd layout in my Digi in Deep class that I am taking. This lesson started on Monday and I have just completed it. Remember this starts with a white sheet of paper and I had to place, draw and manipulate all of the elements just like I was scrapping with paper.

I just checked on Jim and he is doing fine. About the same as yesterday. I am off in a little while to see him. I probably won't be posting tonight because I am going to go to Scrap Therapy at K2 tonight. It is from 3 until midnight. Lots to do.

Plus my big challenge today is no water pressure. The entire complex is without pressure. In the shower you just get a dripple and the tolets aren't filling. Guess it's a good day to be gone all day.

Jim enjoying Masters

Jim was thoroughly enjoying the Masters today. I could tell because I was talking to him and he said don't talk so much. It was hard to figure out but I finally got it. 24 hour urine came back and his clearance is up to 19. Last week it was 10 so we are going the right way. They are going to do another one tomorrow and are considering taking him off of dialysis.

Jackie (my sister) left today to go see her son Rick. Now most of us know when to visit different cities based on what is going on. Jackie is not a golfer so she didn't get it. My nephew lives in Augusta. Now do you think this is the best weekend to go there. I told good luck and have a good time. Before she left she visited with Jim and told him she was going out of town and he better be good while she is gone. I hope he was listening.

This photo is of the bougainvillea that is in my yard. It is so beautiful right now. So for now all is well.

Not Much Change

There was not much change with Jim today. All vital remain the same and he is stable. He was a little sleepier today so we just hung out quietly and watched TV.

This photo is from my yard and it makes me happy.

We're on a Roller Coaster

Today started out pretty funny. Misty had her sights set on a Gecko. She chased it down but did not hurt it. The Gecko just stared her down until I dragged her back inside. It was hysterical to watch.

This is a photo of Jim todaywhile he was watching TV. You will notice his hair is very short. We had it cut so he would be more comforable. The words Dr. H used were "rallying" and "unbelievable." No one can understand what is happening with Jim right now. He is completely stable and all of his vital signs are normal. For me this is an emotional roller coaster. Two weeks ago they told me Jim would probably not make it through the night. Then they said the weekend. Then they said the week. Now they are saying he is stable and they are not sure what is going to happen. Jim is amazing and has this will to live that is surpassing everything that is wrong with him. Tomorrow we will know what the situations is with his kidneys and that will tell us something.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring but for today my Jim is there and fighting with all of his might. He was awake practically the entire day and communicating with everyone that came to see him. Everyone at the hospital is stopping in to see him because they want to see for themselves how he is doing. All of these people know the crisis he has been in and are dumbfounded.

As for me I am just enjoying every day I have with him. I am scared to death for us to hit that wall again and what that will mean for us.

Go Kansas

Rock, Choc, Jayhawk, Go K U. Tonight is the finals and let's hope Kansas comes out on Top.

Today Jim was amazing. He was just like his old self. Everyone was in total amazement.He has not been this good since before Christmas. He was awake. Interested in what was going on and he was back to pushing my hand away when I was fussing over him. No temp and his vitals were good. Another amazing thing from 6 to 6 he peed 2200 cc's. I love these days because he is so there and my Jim.

We are watching this carefully because they are doing a 24 hour urine test again. They started this test yesterday morning but the CNA pitched the urine last night so they had to start over today. I sometimes wonder what these people are thinking when there are signs everywhere and the urine bag is sitting in ice.

Off to the watch the game. Go Jayhawks. (I spent two semesters at Kansas University.)

We watched the cubs win today

Now this layout is part of my class. As part of this week's lesson we had to do another layout on our own. I only had to peek at the video's twice to complete this layout. Tomorrow I begin week 2 and have two assignments from last week that I still haven't done.

When I went in to see Jim today he had a fever of 99.8 and when I left it was 100.2. They were going to give him some Tylenol. He vitals were in the normal range otherwise. He slept through most of my visit. I put the cubs game on and thought maybe he would listen. Around the 3rd inning someone hit a home run and wow his eyes opened and he watched the TV. A least I know he was listening. By the end of my visit he was more awake and we were able to talk a little. His talking is more mouthing words and me trying to figure out what he is saying. It's easy to understand I love you and kisses when he puckers up. Love this guy.

Tonight my mom made a pot roast with all of the fixings. Thanks mom for dinner, it was great. We then played some cards and just relaxed. It rained the entire time we were there. I think the rainy season is here a little early.

Recharged Batteries

Ok I woke up today and was feeling lousy. I don't know if I had a bug or the stress had gotten to me. So I decided today I needed to recharge my batteries. I did not leave the house except to take Misty out in the backyard. I did not get dressed. I did not comb my hair I just vegetated and you know what I now feel better. I even cancelled out of the all day crop at K2.

I did not go see Jim today because for just today I was not any good for him. The nurses put the phone up to him and I told him that I wasn't feeling well and I would see him tomorrow. The nurse said he nodded. I did check in with them every couple of hours and he is fine. He had dialysis and the took 1.5 litres off of him. No temp and vitals are good. Tomorrow I will bring him sunshine.

Some wonder how I have handled Jim's illness and how I have stayed so strong. I don't know how but I have found the strength. Friday I snapped. I snapped at my wonderful daughter in law. I snapped at the nurse and I knew it was time for a time out. So after 12 hours of TV and just handing out I think I can face the world again. I still have laundry to do. I still have floors to clean and I still have a house to clean but these to shall wait.

The layout above is from my new photoshop class that started last Monday. It took me all week to do the 10 tasks for this layout. It is completely digital. It has 35 pieces to make up this one layout. There are so many things I learned doing this layout. I did not know that this photoshop software would allow you to do so many things. I still have 4 or 5 more projects to do just to complete this first week of class. The class runs 4 weeks so I guess I better catch up.

It is pouring outside right now. Thunder and lightening. What a great way to end a perfect rejuvenation day.

We Had Another Day Together

I have decided to celebrate everyday that I get to spend with Jim. Right now he is stable and is holding his own. We do not know how long this will last. I am going to love him and enjoy each day. There are to many disappointments in life to do otherwise. I have been wallowing and came home and went to bed at 6:30. This is not me. This is not what Jim would want. I am going to get myself together and face each challenge throw at me head on. I am there for you Jim and I will not fall apart. Hold my hand and the two of us will face this together. How does the song go, "I will celebrate my life with you . . . "

Not much new

Not much new to report. Jim is doing about the same. His vital signs haven't changed much and he has a temp once in a while but the fan seems to bring it down. Today he was sleeping but when I put the Cubs game on his eye snapped open and he watched the game. Small pleasures.

Tonight his friend Gitta had to say good bye because she is leaving for Naples in the morning. I know he will miss her because a tear dropped out of each of his eyes. It was so sad I just had to walk away and so did his nurse.

Thanks Jackie for the hot dogs and hamburgers tonight. Love you.

Jim is such a strong man

This is a picture from lunch yesterday. Here you can see where we ate and how close it is to the beach. Actually it is right on the beach.

Today Jim was awake in the morning, asleep in the afternoon and awake at night. His BP fluctuated today. Sometimes 95/72 other times 70/55. When I kiss him his heart rate fluctuates. It is really fun to watch the monitor and then kiss him again. So today we did a lot of kissing. He had a temp mid afternoon but it was back down before dinner. It is so hard to watch him go through all of these changes. Sometimes I see in his eyes such strength and will to fight this battle and other times like when he has a temp I see despair. This is all so unfair.

Tonight we had dinner at my sisters. Gitta and I picked up some steaks and we cooked them on the grill during a thunderstorm. The lightening was incredible. Misty did not like it at all. When I picked her up to take her to Jackie's there was a big thunder crash. She trembled all the way to Jackie's house and then I still had to calm her down. And tonight she was not having that wet grass.

Up and Down Day

Today was kinda of up and down for Jim. This morning he was doing fine. All his vital signs were within normal range and he was alert and responsive. Kidney doctor pleased with him and decided dialysis would take off 2 and a half liters of fluid.

During dialysis my sister took Gitta and I down to Sharkey's for lunch. The resturant is right on the beach and you have this glorious view while lunching. Food was OK, typical beach food but it was fun.

When we got back to the hospital they were just finishing dialysis. This had worn him out but he was OK. At the end of our visit he was running a temperature of 100.8 so they gave him some Tylenol. He was pretty tired and slept through most of our visit. I was a little concerned about what was going on around the hospital. I still don't have a copy of the bill even though I asked for it 10 days ago. Second they only had one CNA for 33 patients which means he is not getting the attention he should. And this next thing pissed me off. They told me that I could no longer bring Misty to the hospital because it was their new policy. But guess what. One of the nurses today brought in her dog because she was in labor. Now I have a lot of sympathy for the dog but come on the patients love their dogs to and they can no longer visit. This does not seem fair to me. Ok that was my little bitch for the day.

We then went off to the usual bingo night. Mom is the only one that got to yell Bingo tonight. We had our normal pizza and soda's. We introduced Gitta to bingo and proved the theory of the new by winning wrong.

We made a quick visit back to the hospital and Jim's blood pressure was very low. It was 80 over 55 with a stolic of 63. I'm a little worried about this but Mary said she would watch him carefully. He was more alert and responsive to me and his fever had gone down.

A good Day for Jim

Today our good friend Gitta came to visit from Chicago. Jim was so happy to see her. He was having a good day and he just kept smiling at her and listening to her stories. It just made my heart swell to see him have this wonderful time with his dear friend. They have been friends for over 30 years and you could tell it in his face. For him to have a happy moment is priceless.

He was doing well today as I said. Vital's were actually a little better today. The doctor said, "He amazing." The nurses were a little rough with him today when they bathed him and changed his dressings. It actually upset me and I couldn't hold it back and said something to the nurse and you know what she snapped at me. I just looked at her and said maybe she shouldn't be a nurse. I snapped. It takes very little for me these days and when I see them treat Jim this way I lose it. I went directly to the head nurse and told him about the situation. The nurse in question never said another word to me all day. As long as she's kind to Jim I don't care and she didn't spend too much time with him only what she had to. Thank god Mary is back tonight. I know he's in good hands.

Gitta and I spent most of the day at the hospital and then we went out to dinner for some good girl chit chat.

I received this email and it warmed my heart. Thank you Sandy I will read it to Jim tomorrow. The photo above is Jim at a tournament doing what he loved most. Directing and being with the players.
Dear Patti,

Is it possible to have a blog fan? If so, I have been your silent fan for many months now, always checking to see how Jim is doing, sharing your happiness when things are good and sad when Jim was suffering. Always enjoying your pictures. Sometimes, when I read your blog, I feel like I am settled into reading a good Nicolas Sparks novel. Jim is so fortunate to have found happiness and love with you.

Ric and I have been friends with Jim for almost twenty-five years. I know this because he is one of the first people we met in the duplicate bridge world at Tree Towns in Elmhurst and that was before Katie was born. That little baby that we used to bring with us and put in a crib in the nursery while we played bridge and Erin Ralston baby sat is still our baby, but a twenty-three year old one.

Jim, my fondest memories of you are many, but some of the most treasured are your never ending sense of wit and humor. Never met a man that could rattle off as many jokes as you. Another is the Christmas sing-a-long parties at Angie's. You brought the songs, you brought the lyrics, and you brought the cheer. And the only good voice, other than Roseann!

No one who ever played bridge at Tree Towns or probably the entire Midwest will ever forget hearing you remind us: Bridge is a timed event. It doesn't matter how well you play, only how fast!

You are in our thoughts and prayers,

Sandy and Ric and Katie

Finally Donaldson Loses

Today Jim and I were rooting for Kansas to beat Donaldson. Yeah Rock Choc J Hawk Go KU. Some of you may know that I spent sometime at Kansas on my way to my degree. Loved Kansas schools. In our Sweet 16 pool we have all 4 of our teams in the final 4. First time ever. In the big pool we have 3 of our 4. Thanks Team Cohen for this.

This photo was taken at Jim's niece's graduation party. What a fun day that was. Jim was so proud of you Jackie.

Today Jim is about the same. We did have some problems. Temp 100.5 but came down when I put the fan on him. Heart rate over 100 but now down to 87. BP was running between 85/65 to 70 over 45 with stolic between 72 and 63. I was with him all day and he slept 90 percent of the time until my last half hour there then he was wide awake. He has turned his days upside down. Remember I told you he was awake at midnight last night. The doctor says that Jim is on his own timetable and all we can do is enjoy our time.

Thank you Jackie for making me breakfast and dinner. What would I do without you.

Still in the eye

This is such a happy night for Jim. It was his 65th birthday party that was a surprise for him. He told me that nobody had every thrown him a surprise party and I really did get him. He had no idea. For all my scrapping buddies I told him I was going to a crop. The is Jim's son Bob and my wonderful daughter in law Teresa and our Joshua.

Jim is still in the eye of the hurricane. I just ran over there to kiss him goodnight and he was watching the basketball game and was wide awake. Vital signs are normal but the BP is a little low. Stolic is 72. They did dialysis today but did not take any fluid off because his output is good. His vent status has been CPAP since Thursday night. This means he is breathing on his own but getting assist when he needs it.

For me I took a class this morning that I had missed in Jan and Feb. Spent the rest of the day with Jim and then went to dinner with Mom, Jackie and friend Barbara. We went to Pincher's. Barbara had bought us all a gift card for Xmas and we had not used them. On top of that we had 2 for 1 coupons. We were going to go to a movie but I just did not feel like it so we played cards at Jackie's. After that I ran over and said goodnight to Jim.

I sleep better these days if I say good night to him.

Eye of the Hurricane

Another photo that makes me smile.

I feel like the hurricane came on shore and that we are now in the eye of the storm. Everythings is calm and Jim is doing just fine. He was much more alert today than he has been the last two days. I feel like we can communicate and he hears what I have to say. Today he kept telling me to go home. I guess he knew it was Friday and I go to the local scrapbook store every other Friday and today was my day. I told him I would go and would see him later.

Tonight when I went back at 10:30 he was awake and watching the Memphis game. I think he was a little disgusted with this Donaldson team that keeps winning and beating our teams. He was happy to see me and I know that by the big smile he gave me. Vital signs were all in the normal range so we are in the eye of the storm

I did go to the crop and got a couple layouts done but was not real productive. I was happy to just sit and enjoy the night away from my troubles. Everyone at K2 is so wonderful and I thank God everyday that I have found your friendship. You have supported me all the way and I am blessed by you.

Thank you Jackie for taking Misty home with you today. It was really great not to have to worry about her today.

Thursday

This is another photo that makes me smile. We were so happy that day.

Today Jim was semi alert. If I got up close he would open his eyes for me and could communicate with me by mouthing words. Uncle Tom called and I could tell he was listening.

His heart rate was a little high today, 117, but all other vital signs were normal. I did not see the doctor today.

I did go get a perm and a haircut today. I could not stand that haggy hair anymore. Jim liked the cut and style and he nodded his approval. For right now all is calm.

Wednesday Update

I keep thinking of happier times and this photo makes me smile. Jim was so happy that day. It was Thanksgiving 2006 and we were at his brother Bob's house to celebrate the day.

Today Jim was not really responding to me. He would open his eyes but would then fall back asleep. He does look peaceful and not in pain. Teresa talked to him today and he kept rubbing his head on the phone and there was a slight smile. Teresa he loves you so much.

He opened his eyes for the nurses and was able to nod his head that he did not need any pain meds and for that I am thankful. His vital signs are still in the normal range but his blood pressure has dropped slightly.

I gave you the wrong cell phone number: 941-350-1367

For me I sit and hold his hand and tell him I am right there for him and that I love him. He's still with me but I feel his hand slipping away.

Wednesday Morning

Last night I just didn't have it in me to blog. I was tired and went to bed. Jim had a good day yesterday. All of his vital signs are normal and that continues this morning. The antibiotic is keeping this infection at bay but these infections continue to mutate and are consuming him. He is on every antibiotic known to man and yet we can't keep them down and they keep mutating. He is Jim right now and I am enjoying the time with him. He is tired is at peace with what is happening I believe. When he looks scared (and I can tell when he is) I hold his hand and tell him how much he is loved and that I am right there by his side and that we are in this together. I continue to tell him that I will be alright and he will always walk beside me.

I pass on to him every ones messages and their prayers.

The phone number in Jim's room is 941-342-3129. My cell phone is 941-350-1377. This is different because I washed my other cell phone. If anyone is looking for me these are the numbers that most likely will find me.

My Miracle Man

This photo is a picture of the Easter Bouquet I took to the hospital this weekend for the nurses to enjoy. Over the weekend I put in 8 bags of tootsie roll pops. Everyone loved them. This a mutation of a project at my local scrapbook shop. Theirs had 5 pops compared to my but I had a larger audience.

My day was difficult.

Today when I went in to see Jim and I expected to see him as he was all weekend. Instead I found Jim to be a whole new person. He was alert, smiling and very much aware of the goings on around him. He was even interacting with me and the nurses. He even puckered up for a kiss. I was blown away. Throughout the day he weaned himself off of the levocet and is now completely off of that med that was holding his blood pressure up. I just went to say good night to him about a half hour ago and his bp was 125/85. Just a tad over normal. You might think all is wonderful now but it is not.

This afternoon I visited the Packer Funeral Home. (You have to love the name) and I made all of the necessary arrangements.

Then I met with the doctor. This is the most difficult part. Her first words were, "Jim is a miracle man." Others say Bionic Man or the Cat Man (9 lives). Jim is not going to get better. She said a month or two ago she had hopes that he would recover but now the infections are to much for him to handle. They are rampant throughout his body and the antibiotics can no longer cover everything. He currently has an infection strain that has never been seen at HS or SMH. In fact they are researching this through Atlanta and may even name this new strain. What happens is that the cells mutate themselves as they fight against the meds.

She does not recommend taking him off of any of the measures they are currently taking. She did however recommend that we not use levocet again and that we not introduce any new antibiotics. I have agreed to this. What this means is that the infections will once again flare and Jim will decide it is time to go. She said this is the best way I can show him that we love him and to let him go. I know you will ask me how long. As I asked the same thing. She said it could be today but not longer than several weeks. We will not intervene anymore. We must let him go. I have accepted this although I absolutely hate this. Being an adult sucks. She said many times patients become more alert and aware so that they can convey anything else they want to say before they fade away from us.

Her last words were to enjoy these days with him and just love him because the good days will be few. I hear everyones prayers and they mean so much to me and to the rest of his family.

Happy Easter Everyone

First I want to congratulate my nephew Rick and his wife Heather on the purchase of their first home. They closed last week and are now part of the American dream. A mortgage. I am so happy for both of you. And you to Rizzo (the pug in the background.)

My wonderful Jim is losing the battle that he has fought so hard. It is breaking my heart. I sit with him and hold his hand and just try to feel the strength that binds us together. I put my hand on his cheek and he tries to rub his face against my hand. I know that he will go knowing that I loved him dearly and I will know that he loved me with all of his heart. The doctor has asked to meet with me tomorrow to discuss "the talk". I dread this discussion but I do no want Jim to suffer any more than he has to. I told him tonight that if he is ready he goes with my love and that I would be all right.

I spent the day with Jim and then had Easter dinner with my family. Thank you Mom, Barbara and Jackie for everything you have done for me. I love all of you. I just got back from the hospital. I wanted to spend a little more time with him and to say good night. The nurses kept coming in to hug me. There were tears from them also. They have all taken care of him for so long and they love him to. He's in good hands tonight.

We are hanging in there

I spent most of today with Jim. He is very peaceful and quiet. The doctors were concerned about dialysis today but he made it through beautifully. They did not take any fluid off of him because of the blood pressure issue. Yesterday they put 2 gallons of fluid into him to balance the blood pressure medication and did not want to take it off.

Dr. L told me today that Jim will determine how and when. She said that the worst is inevitable and that we will continue to treat him to make sure he is comfortable. He was not very responsive today and the only real time I saw a spark in him is when our grandson Jack talked to him and told him that he loved him. He heard Jack and I know that this gives him great comfort.

I know I'm rambling but I am so tired so I am now off to bed. Once again I left my cell phone home this afternoon. For those that tried to call please try again tomorrow. I will remember the phone. Or you can call 941-342-3000 and ask for room 105 and if I'm there I'll answer. Thank you everyone for the love.

Jim has taken a turn for the worse

Jim has taken a turn for the worse. Yesterday he was diagnosed as being septic. This is a bacteria that is running through out his blood stream. In addition he has yeast in the blood. His blood pressure is very low and they have had to put him back on medication to get it back up. They have listed him as critical. The doctors were not sure that he would make it through last night but I spent the night with him and together we made it through the night. He is awake and is aware of everything around him.

But . . . the fire and fight has gone out of him. His eyes tell the whole story and I believe that he wants to give up the fight. Father Mike spent some time with him yesterday and Jim is at peace.

We are going to try dialysis today but we may not be able to do this. The doctor said if it does not work then the only other option he has is to take him back to the hospital for more aggressive treatment. Because of all of his other organs failing I do not believe Jim would want this. I can't tell you how hard this is for me but I believe I will let Jim tell me what to do.

If he handles the dialysis today and it will be what he can handle and as Dr. Shiro said Jim will declare himself. But if he does not handle this and that the doctors give us information that the fight seems to be over I will not put Jim through a more aggressive treatment. I will see it in his eyes what he wants to do.

I have never been faced with this type of situation before. My dad died in the middle of the night and very suddenly. I hate having to be an adult but I love Jim and will follow his lead. Please keep me in your prayers as I make the most difficult decision of my life.

Pretty Much Quiet

It was pretty much a quiet day. Jim had dialysis and we just hung out. Mostly Jim slept from being worned out from yesterday. The only real news is that the kidney doctor said all was going really well with the dialysis but the testing showed his protein levels are low. He said that Jim was not processing his protein and it was leaking into his urine.

For those of you that see Jacee in the NCAA bracket sheets. I was able to do this because of Team Cohen. Thanks you guys. It's hung in his room so we can keep up.

I had a scrapbook class tonight and I just got back from a long walk with Misty. Night all.

Jim Got a Haircut Today

For Christmas mom gave Jim a in house haircut from the traveling haircut guy. Because he has been having so many ups and downs we just haven't had it done. Today was the day and what a day it was. Jim has a fresh haircut and wash and he looks and feels great. Thanks mom for this.

Everyone knows I have been freaking out about the latest abscess on Jim's stomach. The opening is about the size of a dime and it is really draining. We were really afraid that it was the gall bladder or the worst that it was from a tunnel from the chest wound. It's none of these according to the CT scan and the ultrasound. It is simply an abscess or what you and I call a boil. Oh happy day.

The other day I asked Dr. L about getting Jim in a chair. She said no that he was not ready. Today I came in and they were getting Jim into a chair. I asked wow what are you doing. They said Dr. L ordered the chair. Ok let's go for it. He looked very content in the chair. Next respiratory came in and guess what, they took him off the vent. I was so scared with all of this. Jim did just great. He was alert and even talking a little. He needs to work on his vocal cords because he has not used them. I called Teresa and had the boys talk to him. Boy did that put a smile on his face and it really perked him up. It was almost normal. The only words he did say were drink, coke, water and sip. Jim's back with us because he has not asked for anything to drink since the first of the year. He was in the chair and off the vent for 6 hours. I saw Dr. L after dinner and and she was very pleased. She said that this may be what he needs is to get up a little bit.

They are going to have to be a little careful because when I came back he butt was sitting on his TV monitor remote and the call light was under his back.

For once we had a good day. We haven't had many of those. This layout is digital layout and I was trying out the faded photo look.

Not much new to report

The first layout is a paper layout and the second one is a digital layout.
There is not much new to report tonight. Jim went for the CT Scan this morning and was back fairly quickly and no problems with the procedure or the transport. Unlike last time they used a neck pillow to support his head during transport. (Last week they did not do this.) He had dialysis when he returned. They are going to continue dialysis until they find out the reason for the stomach blister. It is to hard to stop and start dialysis according to Dr. L.

I also met with Dr. L. today and she was pleased that the site is smaller today. It is really draining so for right now until she gets the results she is going to treat as a boil because that is what it looks like. She is going to have them put hot compresses on the site and see what happens. Today is was not hard like it was the past two days. Until the results of the CT and Ultrasound are back we will not know. They also put the wound vac back on the chest because the bottom part was still ozzing. He was pretty wiped out today what with the transport, the CT Scan and then dialysis. They also gave him some morphine for the trip so that the jossling wouldn't hurt to much.

As many of you know I have had several complaints about the care at HS. I reported my concerns to the State agency that handles these complaints. Tonight I received a letter from the Florida Agency for Health Care Administration. Here's what they had to say, "Based on observations, interviews, review of the medical records of the individual named in the compaint and other facility documentation on the day of the investigation the facility was not in compliance with State regulations that govern hospitals. A state deficiency was identified as a result of the investigation that relates to failure to follow the plan of care and failure to provide functional equipment for which the facility will be required to submit a Plan of Correction." I'm not crazy. There are problems.

Now I know why they took Misty away and my favorite nurse.

Today I went to the vocation technical school. I have a new plan. If I go to school for 6 hours a week I qualify for school medical insurance. I am looking into going to school for computer technology and web design. It looks really interesting and I can learn some valuable marketable skills and get cheaper health insurance. Currently I am paying $780 a month. The school insurance is much cheaper. So I am in the process of apply for grants for seniors and applying to the school. It is an interesting twist on getting health insurance and Jim's doctor told me about this as an alternate plan. Because of this I spent the afternoon with Mom going over my taxes.

Went to bingo tonight. Sadly neither mom, Jackie or I were able to yell Bingo.

Jim looked a lot better today

We do not know the reason but Jim looked so much better today. He was alert and awake and watching everything that was going on around him. He cooperated with the physical therapist and let her work for about a half hour. This is quite unusual. He usually gives up after 10 minutes. Way to go Amy.

He was not in pain unless you touched the side of his stomach where the absese is. Now this is just my opinion but maybe the toxin build up in that area just had to come out and since it is draining he's releasing some of the bad stuff. He has not looked this good in several weeks. We will know more after the Cat Scan tomorrow. Hopefully they will have results later in the day since he is going at 8:00 am. They are going to give him some pain medication before because the transport is really going to jossle him around so that will be painful. He even let me give him a manicure today. He usually fusses about this.

As for me I had lunch with my mother at the hospital. I was sure they were going to have corn beef and cabbage so I asked her to come over. No corn beef but they had roast beef and sweet and sour chicken. They did have the cabbage. The cook got a lot of ribbing over this.

Tonight was a beautiful evening and I just had to be outside. It was in the low 70's and the March winds were blowing. The tree in my front yard really needed trimming so Misty and I were outside and triming the tree. It looks so much better and I now have a pile of limps about as tall as me. Watch Dancing with the Stars tonight. Loved it.

Nothing is Easy

Well we have another step back with Jim. Remmember last year when Jim was at SMH he had a gall bladder problem. They treated it, drained it and then it healed. Well . . . @#$@@% it's back. I know that I definitely looked at his belly on Friday, not sure of yesterday because he had a gown on, and it looked perfectly OK. Today while I was visiting Jim I asked the nurse how he was doing and he said fine. I took him for his word. I was there about 4 hours. Did not check Jim's body just held his hand and rubbed his arm. At 6:00 I called in and they told me he was doing fine. At 7:30 the doctor called me and said we have a problem. The site where the drainage tube was has absesed. It has actually burst like a boil. And there is a five inch ring of redness around the site. She said with all of the antiabiotics he's on she can't believe this has happened and it has happened since she saw him yesterday.

She is going to send him to SMH tomorrow for a CT scan to see what is involved and if it has tunneled anywhere. She has also called Dr. N. for him to look at Jim at the hospital.

I had to see this for myself so I went to the hospital and yes there it was. It is quite painfull for him when the nurse touches the site. You could tell he was in pain and I asked him if he wanted some pain meds and he said yes. He never asks for pain meds so I know he was in pain.

So I'll let you know tomorrow when I know more.

Finally some good news

I talked with the kidney doctor today. Yea the kidneys are working much better. They are going to cut Jim's dialysis from three days a week to two. The dialysis takes so much out of him so this is really good news for a change. Dr. L. today said they may want to put the feeding tube in next week. Dr. N the surgeon will be in on Monday. They are hoping to do this at HS. They will put this in the small intestine instead of the stomach because it is safer and less prone to infection. Ji was comfortable and slept most of the day. I had basketball on for him and I could tell everyonce in a while he was getting into the game. Tomorrow we'll have selection Sunday for him. I'll see what he thinks about the pool.

I went to Red Lobster tonight for dinner with my Mom, Sister and friend Barbara. I had not been there for a while but the biscuits are still just as good as I remember. I had the Lobster and Shrimp pasta and it was great. Afterwards we came back to my house and played cards. Mom I finally beat you. Yeah Patty. Misty is now zonked out from all of the attention.

We were alert today

Today Jim was holding my hand and squeezing it. The head nurse came in and said wow I have not seen him do this in a long time. Jim looked over at him and just smiled. He was proud that he was holding his wife's hand and enjoying it. I love this. His urine test came back with a clearence of 16. This is really good but I do not know more than that. I have asked that the kidney doctor call me.

It's a rainy evening and Misty and I are just going to stay in a veg out a little. Have a great weekend.

Jim much better

Now that the antiobiotics have kicked in Jim is feeling much better. He's alert and looking good. You can really tell when he is feeling better because his eyes have an intensity that lets you know that he is listening and watching to what is going on around him. During his time with the fever his eyes are glassy and sometimes non-responsive. Well we'll see how this goes. Today we should have the results of the 24 hour urine test. If he goes over 15 they will stop the dialysis. The last test he was at 14. Hi urine output for this test was 3 liters. In fact in dialysis yesterday they did not take anything off of him only did the cleaning.

I'm having a little tussle with the hospital. I made an official complaint to the hospital regarding the errors in his health care. They are now paying me back for that. Misty is no longer allowed in the hospital. They say she can carry infection down the hall. They have also told Jim's favorite nurse that she can no longer care for him. Their reason is that she is not charting proper information. Today Jim and I will review his medical records. More on this later.

I have a sinus infection. It is awful. I know it is because everything is blooming here. The oak trees are in full bloom and so are the fruit trees and I have three of them surrounding my house.

Where have the photos been?

You may have been wondering where the pictures have been. I have actually been scrapping but just haven't taken the photos. The first layout is of my team from the Sarasota Regional Bridge Tournament. Gina, Kay and Jan. I have the best time that week. We may not have been at the top of our game but we sure had a great time being together. The second layout is one that I have wanted to do. It is going back to the basics of colored pencils, water colors and a bunch of embellishments. Just a fun layout that took almost an entire crop to finish. Yes and I did drag all of my stuff there and never touched most of it.

Well guess what? Jim was so much better on my second visit today. The doctor was right, 24 hours after the pik line was out he was feeling so much better. We watched the 4:30 Jeopardy and he was mouthing the answers. Can you believe that. He also stayed awake another two hours. He has not done this for awhile. A gastro doctor came in an evaluated whether to put another feeding tube in. He is going to get with the surgeon. Kidney doctor in and he is doing another 24 hour urine as I type this. Jim may come off dialysis. Keeping my fingers crossed. So for tonight all is well.

I was so energized by this visit that I met up with my sister tonight and we went bicycle riding. Legs are sore tonight but who cares. We meet again tomorrow night. Misty loved riding in the back and did not jump out once. Thanks Teresa for the great pick up session yesterday. I needed that. What can be better than a little gab session. Love you.

A Couple of Rough Days for Jim

Jim has not had a very good week. That means the last 7 days. He started running a temp last Wednesday and while they have it under control sometimes he spikes to 103. Durig this time Jim goes to his special place to sleep the day away. He does not want to be bothered and he wants to just be left alone. Other times he just holds on to my hand and doesn't want me to leave him. All the cultures came back last night and the blood was positive for yeast and sputum for whatever that bacteria is. Today the pik line people came in to pull his line. It didn't work and they could not get a new one in. He had to go to SMH to the radiology dept to have it put in. This happened and now he has a new line. Th will watch him for 24 hours and if the temps continue they will then send him to have his dialysis line removed and a new one put in. They know for sure the pik line was hot but are hoping the dialysis line is OK.

The worst part of the SMH trip is that tiny little carrier he has to go on. YOu have to be about 80 pounds to fit on that thing. Getting him in and out of bed is hard on him. I was here when he came back from SMH and he just wanted to sleep. They were going to do the dialysis immediately. They can't give him the antiobiotics until after dialysis because the machine just takes the antiabiotics out of him. He is now on 5 antiobiatics.

His mood is not so good. His blood pressure goes up when I read him the sports page and the current Blue and Gold. I feel so helpless as to how to help him right now. WE are hoping now that the pik line is changed he'll become more alert. Today when I held his band he just shook it away and shook his head. YOu know the look. This tells me he's there but he's just hiding.

As for me I'm hanging by several threads. I'm trying to keep busy but the past several days when I am at home I just want to sleep. I bowled today and had the best bowling day I have ever had. 146, 144, 121. Monday I played bridge and Jan and I were 2nd overall for 5 sections with a 65% game. So I guess that when I'm doing something I am totally focused.

Sunday my sister made me breakfast and dinner. Yeah. The rest of the day Misty and I spent with Jim. Thanks Donna and Gina for the cards. I got a smile from him. Tonight I played bingo and Jackie and I both yelled Bingo. Mom was not so lucky. So that's what I've been up to. Sorry I have not blogged in several days but I just didn't have it in me.

Still Running a Temp

This is what I look at when I look out the window of my office/scrapbook studio. When the window is open I can smell the oranges. The tree is even starting to bud for next year. It makes me sad that Jim can't drink the orange juice this year. When we moved here last year I made him fresh orange juice everyday. He loved it and told me it was the best orange juice he had ever drank. With any luck maybe next week he'll be able to eat again.

He's still running a temp and the prelim's from the cutures are not showing any growth so we continue to wait on this. We finnally got the last stool last night and hope for some results today. His spirits are so so but that is to be expected with this temp situation.

Jim has a temp

An update because I was so tired last night so I didn't post. Jim is running a 102 temp since yesterday morning. This morning it is down to 101.8. Not much better. They have cultured everything and finally gotten the last stool sample. This only took a week. I hope they couldn't have warded this off if they had done this last weekend. They have put him on another antibiotic so let's hope this helps. More later.

I've been tagged.

Tag I'm it.
OK, so I was tagged by Charlene who was tagged by Kim who was tagged by Aimee, who was tagged by Paula, who was tagged by Celeste, who was tagged by Tina, who was tagged by Angie and that's all I know. So I have to share 7 things, some random, some weird about myself then pick some buddies to tag then leave a message on their blog then they get to share. So here I go:

1. I lived 5 blocks from the Leavenworth Federal Prison while I was growing up.

2. I was a certified Life Guard, Swimming instructor and trainer for new life guards for the American Red Cross. I saved one person who hit her head on the bottom and was not breathing when I brought her up.

3. I loved college. In fact I went to 7 colleges and universities before I graduated. I wanted to stay in school forever. I was also an ADPi.

4. I can't stand milk and am freaked out if it even touches me.

5. I love to play bridge or any card or board game.

6. I was a girl scout all the way through high school.

7. I was an avid water skier when I was growing up. The worst moment when I was young was when my mother sold our water ski boat. The doctor had told my mom it had to go because of my father's heart condition. We spent all the time we could on water ski's.

I'm not sure who has been tagged but I think I'll tag Millie, Linda, and Dana.

Not A Soapbox But a Concern

I hate being on my soapbox but what can I do. Once again they have disposed of Jim's stool without sending it out for testing. On Feb 28 the doctor ordered a three day stool test. He wanted to see if there was any blood in the stool. Ok fine. The first specimen was taken that day and not one since. I questioned this over the weekend and was told they forgot and disposed. Monday I talked to the nurse manager and he put a great big note in the chart. Guess what you can probably go to nursing school but that does not mean you can read. The stool specimens were once again thrown out. What am I going to do stand over them and get them to do their job.

Next, I went in on Saturday and Jim was sunk into his bed without his pillow. I asked about this and they said it was like that when I came in. I then said that the bed did not seem to be fully inflated. Don said he would check. Sunday, Ron said he would check. Monday Martha said she would check. Today Patty checked and his bed was deflated behind his back and that was why he was sunk down. Called the nursing supervisor in and explained the situation and he gave me that blank stare look. Ok I'll call the bed people. I asked him why the nurses did not check this out. Another blank stare. Hopefully they can do this tonight or we may have to wait until morning.

In other news, Jim was off the vent this morning. He's having a little trouble talking but he just needs to work at this. Everything else ok. Had dialysis today. They say he is doing great.

Loved this photo and wanted to do another layout for Jack's book. Already done one for Luke's bed. Thank you to Gina, Nancy, Bob and Caroline for the cards. I even got a smile out of him. I took down all the valentine cards down and working on spring cards.

Off the Vent

Jim was off the vent for several hours yesterday. He was in no distress and looked really comfortable. They put him back on because I was leaving and it was shift change and they would be distracted. Today they are taking him off at 9:00 and are going to watch him closely to see if he can stay off all day. There are several medications Jim can not take when he is on the vent but Dr. L has ordered them topically to get him back on them. They should be in today.

This is my red cardinal. She is still in love with the car and that is driving me crazy. No she has found the window to my scrap studio. I have put that reflective window covering on this window to protect from the sun. But what this means is that my red cardinal can now see herself and flys into this window. She is going to hurt herself.

I'm up early because Misty has gone to the beauty shop. She is getting washed and cut plus having her toenails clipped. I'll take a photo later and show you her look. Off to wash the floors while she is not here.

A Little Warm Here in Sarasota

It's a little warm here in Sarasota today. It hit 80 degrees and frankly that is a little warm for this time of year. The sun was shinning and all you wanted to do was be outside. I told the doctor today that I just wanted to throw open the windows (they don't open at all) and let Jim feel the wonderful sunshine and fresh air. She said: let's see how the week goes and maybe next weekend we can get him outside.

These are the 4 layouts I did Saturday at the crop. The first two I copied from Nikki who is an amazing designer at K2. I knew I had the perfect photos to copy her layout. The second two layouts are mine with a variation on Nikki's design. I had to use all of the left over paper because I didn't use it all on the first two layouts and why waste the paper when I still had photos.

Jim is doing fine but a little sleepy still. He finally was awake for my second visit today. He was a little worn out so we just watched TV. Had a conversation with Dr. L and she let me know what her schedule would be basically and how I could reach her. She wants to have a consultation with a digestive doctor to see what we can do about feeding Jim. There is a procedure they can do at HS and that may work. It's another form of feeding tube. The nurses screwed up the stool test this weekend. He was supposed to have a 3 day stool test and basically they took it Thursday and just plain forgot Friday and Saturday. This means we will have to start over. It makes me so mad when basic stuff is forgotten. I'll have another talk with Tim in the morning.

I spent most of the day at the hospital today and then just having some down time which was sorely needed. I even fixed myself a steak on the grill for dinner. Off to read my book. I hope everyone has a great week. Jim and I are planning on a good week ourselves.