Jim has now been in the hospital 11 months. This has been an incredible journey for both of us. We have grown closer through this illness. When you spend everyday with another person with no outside activities it brings you closer together. In these 11 months there has only been one time I left him and that was when I went to Chicago. Other than that I have only missed one day with him. We have talked about so many things and about what we what. Jim has always said he wants to fight this illness. He has never waivered from this point. He has asked me to be there beside him in this fight. I can do no less for him.
However, we are losing this battle. The doctors tell me that the chance for recovery is very small and the doctors use words like, bleak and dismal. They also use words like rally and amazing. Our goal is to get Jim off dialysis and the ventilator and then to either go to Hospice House or to come home. The doctor says that a skilled nursing facility is awful and he will get virtually no care. He will probably come off dialysis this week as his kidneys are now functioning. Because of this we may be forced to leave Health South. Jim can not go to Hospice House if he is still on the ventilator. We tried today to get him off the vent and it did not go very well. We will continue to try this every day. He was alert and interacting with me today. When I left he was watching Matlock and you could tell he was actually watching it.
We will just have to see how this goes. I have had to make some very hard decisions and the decisions I have made I feel are what Jim wants and because of that then this is what we'll face together. The two layouts are both digital. Something that I do to keep my mind off of my troubles.
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