Jim has taken a turn for the worse

Jim has taken a turn for the worse. Yesterday he was diagnosed as being septic. This is a bacteria that is running through out his blood stream. In addition he has yeast in the blood. His blood pressure is very low and they have had to put him back on medication to get it back up. They have listed him as critical. The doctors were not sure that he would make it through last night but I spent the night with him and together we made it through the night. He is awake and is aware of everything around him.

But . . . the fire and fight has gone out of him. His eyes tell the whole story and I believe that he wants to give up the fight. Father Mike spent some time with him yesterday and Jim is at peace.

We are going to try dialysis today but we may not be able to do this. The doctor said if it does not work then the only other option he has is to take him back to the hospital for more aggressive treatment. Because of all of his other organs failing I do not believe Jim would want this. I can't tell you how hard this is for me but I believe I will let Jim tell me what to do.

If he handles the dialysis today and it will be what he can handle and as Dr. Shiro said Jim will declare himself. But if he does not handle this and that the doctors give us information that the fight seems to be over I will not put Jim through a more aggressive treatment. I will see it in his eyes what he wants to do.

I have never been faced with this type of situation before. My dad died in the middle of the night and very suddenly. I hate having to be an adult but I love Jim and will follow his lead. Please keep me in your prayers as I make the most difficult decision of my life.