This photo is a picture of the Easter Bouquet I took to the hospital this weekend for the nurses to enjoy. Over the weekend I put in 8 bags of tootsie roll pops. Everyone loved them. This a mutation of a project at my local scrapbook shop. Theirs had 5 pops compared to my but I had a larger audience.
My day was difficult.
Today when I went in to see Jim and I expected to see him as he was all weekend. Instead I found Jim to be a whole new person. He was alert, smiling and very much aware of the goings on around him. He was even interacting with me and the nurses. He even puckered up for a kiss. I was blown away. Throughout the day he weaned himself off of the levocet and is now completely off of that med that was holding his blood pressure up. I just went to say good night to him about a half hour ago and his bp was 125/85. Just a tad over normal. You might think all is wonderful now but it is not.
This afternoon I visited the Packer Funeral Home. (You have to love the name) and I made all of the necessary arrangements.
Then I met with the doctor. This is the most difficult part. Her first words were, "Jim is a miracle man." Others say Bionic Man or the Cat Man (9 lives). Jim is not going to get better. She said a month or two ago she had hopes that he would recover but now the infections are to much for him to handle. They are rampant throughout his body and the antibiotics can no longer cover everything. He currently has an infection strain that has never been seen at HS or SMH. In fact they are researching this through Atlanta and may even name this new strain. What happens is that the cells mutate themselves as they fight against the meds.
She does not recommend taking him off of any of the measures they are currently taking. She did however recommend that we not use levocet again and that we not introduce any new antibiotics. I have agreed to this. What this means is that the infections will once again flare and Jim will decide it is time to go. She said this is the best way I can show him that we love him and to let him go. I know you will ask me how long. As I asked the same thing. She said it could be today but not longer than several weeks. We will not intervene anymore. We must let him go. I have accepted this although I absolutely hate this. Being an adult sucks. She said many times patients become more alert and aware so that they can convey anything else they want to say before they fade away from us.
Her last words were to enjoy these days with him and just love him because the good days will be few. I hear everyones prayers and they mean so much to me and to the rest of his family.
Today when I went in to see Jim and I expected to see him as he was all weekend. Instead I found Jim to be a whole new person. He was alert, smiling and very much aware of the goings on around him. He was even interacting with me and the nurses. He even puckered up for a kiss. I was blown away. Throughout the day he weaned himself off of the levocet and is now completely off of that med that was holding his blood pressure up. I just went to say good night to him about a half hour ago and his bp was 125/85. Just a tad over normal. You might think all is wonderful now but it is not.
This afternoon I visited the Packer Funeral Home. (You have to love the name) and I made all of the necessary arrangements.
Then I met with the doctor. This is the most difficult part. Her first words were, "Jim is a miracle man." Others say Bionic Man or the Cat Man (9 lives). Jim is not going to get better. She said a month or two ago she had hopes that he would recover but now the infections are to much for him to handle. They are rampant throughout his body and the antibiotics can no longer cover everything. He currently has an infection strain that has never been seen at HS or SMH. In fact they are researching this through Atlanta and may even name this new strain. What happens is that the cells mutate themselves as they fight against the meds.
She does not recommend taking him off of any of the measures they are currently taking. She did however recommend that we not use levocet again and that we not introduce any new antibiotics. I have agreed to this. What this means is that the infections will once again flare and Jim will decide it is time to go. She said this is the best way I can show him that we love him and to let him go. I know you will ask me how long. As I asked the same thing. She said it could be today but not longer than several weeks. We will not intervene anymore. We must let him go. I have accepted this although I absolutely hate this. Being an adult sucks. She said many times patients become more alert and aware so that they can convey anything else they want to say before they fade away from us.
Her last words were to enjoy these days with him and just love him because the good days will be few. I hear everyones prayers and they mean so much to me and to the rest of his family.
1 comment:
Oh Patty-I read this w/ tears streaming down my face-I haven't peaked here for over a week! My heart aches w/ you! We were in the same place, as you, w/ my FIL just four years ago--so this brings back all those feelings too--it's not a place I'd wish on even my worst enemy (not that I have any...)...you are so amazing...so strong....yes, being an adult SUCKS....couldn've have said it better myself! Email me if you ever need to talk: sufficientgrace4me@yahoo.com
Keep your chin up, for Jim!
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