Catching Up

Today was kind of a catch up day. I really hadn't left my complex since I returned home so it was a day to run errands. I was able to catch up on them in three hours flat. It is way to hot to run around town so it was back to my cool house for me. I even went to the pool today. It's time to get back to exercising so maybe I am back in the swing with that. I didn't go until about 5:00 and that was just perfect.

The pool made me happy today. Yeah!

I also had some time to play around with this digital layout. These photos were taken the day after I arrived in Chicago. It was one of the few times I got to take pictures of the boys.

Yes today I applied for two jobs. There is not much out there but I am spending every day trying to find something that will challenge me and give me health care.

When Did It Get So Hot

While I was in Chicago we had very few warm days. Most of the time it was in the low 50's and I was complaining. I almost had to go out and buy sweat pants I was so cold. I did borrow socks from Adrienne because my feet were freezing. But that is the way it is when it's spring in Chicago.

But the wonder of spring in the north is so beautiful. This is a photo of my friend Phyllis in front of her peony tree and the other photo is of her lilacs. The fragrance was wonderful. As we drove around I just marveled at all of the beautiful spring flowers. It was such a treat to enjoy these flowers. These flowers made me happy and so did my friends. I'm behind on my happy comments.

Now I'm in Florida and it's hot. I will never complain about the cold again. I promise.

I've been home for three days now and Misty has not left my side. In fact she's under my feet right now asleep. I don't know what's going to happen when I go out tomorrow. She keeps thinking I'm not coming back . . . but I will.

I'm Home

Well I have returned home this weekend and ready to face all of my challenges. I spent three weeks in Chicago and it really helped to get it together. I stayed with my good friend Adrienne (shown at left) and her whole family were just what the doctor ordered. Rest and relaxation. Adrienne has 21 grandchildren and they really put a smile on your face. This is a photo with the youngest 3. We played some bridge, shopped and ate Chicago pizza. What fun.

The saddest part for me was not seeing much of my grandchildren but hopefully this will work out in the future. I think Jim was looking out for me because when I got to the airport there were my grandchildren on the same plane as me going to Florida and then on to Disney World. The first thing I heard was Grandma you're here. Then once I was on the plane there was Jim again because they were sitting right in front of me. I got to enjoy them for the entire plane ride. What are the odds of this happening.

It was so sad to come home to my empty house. My Jim will never be here again. Thank goodness for Misty because she had a great big welcome for me. I can tell you that she really missed me. She has not left my side since my returning. I have not done much for the past two days. I'm just catching up with my feelings and getting ready to face the future.

Thank you everyone for all of the notes and cards and phone calls. You are so wonderful. As soon as I dig out from all the mail I have thank you notes to write so that will keep me busy. I also have to find a job with health care. Not that will be a challenge. Love to all.

Feeling a lot better

I think I am getting over my sinus problems. Now that I have used an entire box of tissues my nose is drying up. Yesterday Catey and I even ventured to Macy's for an hour. Didn't buy anything except a small gift. Later Larry, Catey and I met Adrienne in Batavia for dinner. She is watching her grandchildren for the weekend. They Catey and I relaxed and watched two movies. Do not watch I am Legend with Will Smith unless you like horror movies. Wow this was scarred us to death.

What made me happy yesterday. The sun came out and it was a beautiful day. It was the perfect spring day in Chicago.

Today we did absolutely nothing but hang out and watched TV. This made me happy since it gave me another day to clear up my sinus infection.

I hope this week is better. Now that I'm feeling better I hope to see some friends, shop a little and spend some time with Jack, Josh and Luke before I return to Florida.

Too many funerals

Today I attended my third funeral in 3 weeks. This is way to much. My friends and I are devastated with the loss of these special friends. The message the priest brought to us today is to live today because tomorrow is not certain. Keep in contact with friends and family that have gone before us with prayers and those that are here to just tell them you love them. We all know this but do we do it. We get so busy sometimes that we forget. We have got to take the time to enjoy our families and our friends. I am certainly going to do this from now on.

What made me happy today. There was one thing. I had Lou's pizza tonight. True thick Chicago pizza. It was great. Plus the sun was shining today. It was beautiful in Chicago. 71 and Sunny. Haven't seen much of that while I have been here especially since yesterday it was 48 and raining. Love the sun and miss it so much.

Thanks Jackie and Mom for taking care of Misty. Love you both.

I have a cold

It's either a cold or a really bad sinus infection. Yesterday all I did was sneeze and blow my nose plus sleep most of the day. I did have lunch with a friend and that was fun. We stopped by the Windy City Scrapbooking store before lunch and that made me happy. I was in scrapbook withdrawal so even though I was feeling bad I had to make the stop.

The other thing that made me happy was a dish of Cold Stone ice cream. See even when I feel bad I can still find something to make me happy.

A Little Behind in Blogging

This picture of my sister makes me happy. My friends in Chicago have an English Terrier Pit bull. This dog believes he is a lap dog as you can see in this photo. My sister was so shocked when Arenot jumped up on her lap but she just laughed. Right now she probably has my little Misty in her lap. What a difference.

I spent Monday with my grandchildren, Kathryn and Teresa. We went to Buffalo Wings and ate appetizers and played video games. Being together always makes me happy.

Yesterday Adrienne and I ran errands and just goofed off. We even played bridge last night. Bridge makes me happy and it is not something I have done a lot of lately. Not having Jim across the table from me makes me sad because he so loved the game.

We lost another friend yesterday. David Gilbert, age 50, died of a massive heart attack and died before the ambulance made it to the hospital. We will go to his funeral Friday to mourn the loss of another friend. That makes three. All on a Tuesday and all two weeks apart.

I'm trying hard to find something that makes me happy today. I've spent the day just resting and thinking about Jim and our life together. He made me happy. He loved me and for right now that makes me happy.

Finding the Happy Moments

My life has not exactly been happy over the past couple of weeks. My heart is breaking and it would be very easy to hide in a hole and withdraw from everyone and everything. I am stronger than this and Jim would not want me to do this. So for the next 30 days I have going to blog about something happy that has happen to me each day. I am hoping this will help me to get back on the right track and to actually know that I can be and find happy moments in my day to day activities. Remember my word for the year is strength and I need to find that and happy moments will help me find the strength to face the new challenge in my life.

Today is Mother's Day and I am so happy that my mother is still with me. I tried to reach her today but she was not home. Mom, I love you and appreciate you every day. Thank you for taking care of Misty while I am gone. This means so much to me. I will try to reach you tomorrow. It doesn't matter that it is not Mother's day because I love you every day.

I was also happy today because I was with my friend Adrienne and her 4 daughters, 1 son, 1 son in law, and 9 grandchildren. What fun it was to watch them have so much fun together.

I am also happy that my sister was here today and sad that she had to go back to Sarasota tonight. Love you Jackie.

That's a lot of happiness for just one day.

We Said Goodbye

Yesterday we said goodbye to my Jim. The day was hard but so many friends and family joined us to celebrate Jim's life. It was so wonderful. The service was in Elmhurst, Ill. and it was just what Jim would have wanted. It was simple but lovely. The family entered the church to Dancing Queen and it brought smiles to the faces of those in the church. They just knew that that was Jim. He loved Abba. The retired minister spoke and he knew Jim so well. Angie spoke of Jim's bridge life and Gesa sang Ava Maria so beautifully it brought tears to my eyes. My grandsons sat on either side of me along with my sister and we remembered grandpa.

Afterward we went to a Braur House and toasted Jim's life. The pizza was perfect and I heard repeated toasts all day. Yes Jim is smiling and dancing to Abba. He is now at home at Notra Dame and Life Is Good.

Grandma Hugs Are the Best

I'm here in Chicago now and I have to tell you that the best medicine for healing is big hugs from the most wonderful grandchildren in the world. I spent most of the day with them yesterday and there is absolutely nothing better. Jack, Josh and Lucas came to see me yesterday and oh yes they brought their amazing mother Teresa with them. She got to sit back and just enjoy the afternoon. My friend Adrienne had 4 of her grandchildren here also and the 7 of them spent the entire afternoon out in the back yard playing. There is a club house and swings and balls. What fun. Then just for the children's enjoyment a car exploded down the street and the flames were huge. Then we had firemen and trucks. The children just loved all the excitement.

Now there were some hard moments to. Jack asked me why his grandfather had to die and that was so hard to explain. Jack is six and he is trying to understand. Josh who is 2 asked me where grandpa was because he knows where I go grandpa goes. I tried to explain and I think they understood. In the end I told them to just put their hand on their heart and to just say I love you grandpa and he would hear their prayers.

Today I made all the final arrangements with the church and celebration site and I believe we are all set. Jim's son Tom comes tomorrow and we all hope to have dinner together.

Wanted to share some photos from yesterday.

Now I have a cold

Wouldn't you just know it, I've been healthy for 11 months and this weekend I get a cold. I've stayed in bed most of the day today and will worry about things tomorrow. I leave for Chicago tomorrow night so I have the whole day.

My friends Adrienne, Caty and Larry were here this weekend. They were here for Jean Christopher's funeral in Tampa on Saturday. It was a very nice service but very emotional for me. Bill had a videotape of Jean and Bill's wedding party running before the service and later at his home. Little did I know that when I heard the sound at Bill's home that it would be my Jim doing the video and his voice was everywhere because he was doing all of the interviewing of the guests. It as very odd for me to hear is voice this way. This video was taken 16 years ago. There was a segment on the video of Jim doing the polka. He was very light on his feet and all I could think of that he was whole again and dancing the polka. It drained me to watch this but in a very good way.

Now it's back to bed to get rid of the horrible cold.

Remembering

A friend sent me this poem today and it is really beautiful. I wanted to share it with all of you. I had a quiet day talking to friends and family. This photo was taken the first Christmas Jim and I spent together. It was also the first time I met Jim's family in South Bend. What a wonderful family they are and they love to be together. They just make you smile being with all this very large family. I come from a very small family so it was with great joy that I am part of their lives. I think about you every day as we face this loss together.

Do Not Cry
Do not cry for me, my dear…

My last wish is for you to

carry me with the breezes

when they swirl delicatelybeneath the storms you’ll

gather amidst your spirit.

As rain pelts harshly against your heart,

let the soothing trickle calm your soul.

When you feel like you’re drowning,

lay down quietly and savour the tranquillity

of memories, allow them to cleanse your pain.

I’ll speak to you through nature’s gifts

and I’ll never be far from your door.

When colourless clouds surround your mind,

I’ll paint them brightly with tones of love.

I’ll ask the birds who sing so sweetly

if I can borrow their voice

to remind you I haven’t gone far.

Every leaf or feather you see floating

is me, asking you not to cry.

Each pebble you see washed upon the shore

is your reminder that I didn’t die.

The rippling waters are my giggles

and the wave-tops are me saying hello.

Never forget how much I love you…