Quiet Day

Today Jim and I just had a quiet day. They changed his wound care dressings early today and that just wears him out. Today was the first day he actually was able to eat again. Everything is pureed but he said it tasted good. Not sure what he had but there was a mistery meat, real mashed potatoes and a green veggie. What he wanted most was the milk. You know those Chiszar's they love their milk.

They hooked up our DVD player today so we can watch movies now. So a trip to Blockbuster is on the agenda for tomorrow.

As for me I had a lazy day with JIm. I spent most of the day with him reading while he slept. It was good for me to have some down time. His room is really cold the way he likes it and for these last days of August in Florida his room is the best place to be. I even took a nap myself. Tonight I did some scrapbooking and watched the Buc's on TV. Now that we are back in Florida I can actually see the games. Go Bucs! Way to Win!

They say you shouldn't go to bed mad

Yes they say don't go to bed mad but tonight I am. I just got off the phone with the hospital. Once again they have given Jim morphine. He asked the nurse for something for pain. He has told them time and again he just wants tynenol. The nurse asked his pain level and he said 4. So she gave him morphine. I asked her if he asked for morphine and she said no, she just gave it to him. What is going to happen if his pain level if 6 - 7 or 8. What are they going to give him then? Jim does not want to get addicted to pain meds but the night nurses keep giving it to him. I don't know what to do.

Also at 4:00 they told me they were going to give him dinner. The doctor said he was going to get dinner. Then the nurses decided no there was a little dye in his sputum so they wanted to be careful so no dinner. Jim is in a viscious cycle right now. His wounds are not going to heal without food and now once again they will not give it to him.

Then last night they bumped his head again. I didn't not know about this until Jim told Dr. Hume today. Dr. Hume asked JIm 4 different times about this and finally Jim said, "I've told you 4 times already. At 2:00 they gave me a bath and then when they slid me up they bumped my head." What am I going to do? This is supposed to be a good hospital and the next closest place is in St. Petersburg. Dr. Hume was supposed to meet me between 12 and 1 and of course I had to track him down at 2:00.

Other than all this frustration Jim is feeling pretty good. They are talking about getting him up as long as it will not put any pressure on the stomach wound. WE don't want to pop the plug. The sonagram of the lungs showed very little fluids. The MRI is back but I need to talk with the neurosurgen about this. He has a small hole in his heart surgery incision. They did a culture of this today and an infectionist disease doctor was in to look at it. The plastic surgeon is going to come in and look at this tomorrow along with looking at his bed sores.

As for me Misty had a playdate with my nephews dog Rizso today. Both were exhausted after this. Rizso is a 4 year old pug and spent most of her time trying to hide from our little puppy Misty. Mom, Jackie and I went to Bingo tonight and I won three bingo's. Not sure if they will let me come back next week. Especially since Jackie was filling in as the caller. One of my bingo's tonight was won on number 23. A special number for Jim and I, son Bob's birthday is on the 23 and so is Jack and Lucas.

Feeling a little better now that I got all of this off my chest.

Painting the Kitchen

Before Jim and I moved to Sarasota everyone knew that I hated the kitichen. These apples are awful. I had to do something with all of the extra time I have on my hands so . . . what's a person to do. Jim told me not to paint the kitchen. But . . . I kept telling him while he was in the coma if you don't wake up I'm going to paint the kitchen. He took his good natured time about waking up so here I am painting the kitchen. He did wake up and he is getting better and I am only half done painting the kitchen. I have now broken down and told him I am painting. I have even taken in photos of what I have done so far. He now agrees that the kitchen looks better than before. So I am now hurridly working to get this done. All I have left is the top cabinets on one wall. As you can see it looks a whole lot better. You can't really tell here but it is a very light orange with white doors and trim.

They are going very slow with Jim right now. They are afraid to turn him or work on his PT. This neck situation is really holding him back. I asked the doctor to call me today but he didn't. It is always a problem getting them to call me back. So I really don't have any new news today. They did a sonagram of his lungs but as usually it is hurry up and wait. Hopefully I'll have more news tomorrow.

Made Jim Smile Today

Every day I try to bring in a card or photo that will make Jim smile. I was looking through some photos this morning and found this one. I printed it 8 x 10 so he can really see it. He loved this picture and I got a really big smile. He gave me a bigger grin when I told him that Lucas's shirt said, "That's It. I'm going to grandma's." You have got to love that.

Jim had another good day today. He went to the hospital for a MRI of his neck. The trip didn't tire him as much as previous trips so I think he is getting stronger. Dr. Nora was in and put a form of glue into his stomach hole. The good thing he said was that the hole was almost closed. This glue is the same glue that they use to close up surgical patients after heart surgery. We are hoping this will work and that he will be able to eat soon. The sooner he eats the sooner he'll get his strength back.

I had a meeting today with the hospital administrator regarding Jim's broken neck and the entire situation surrounding this. They are now on notice.

We are still on the upward track so keep praying for the best because he is still fighting to get better. Tomorrow PT is going to get him to sit on the side of the bed. This is big. I hope he can do this.

Lazy Sunday's

Today Jim and I had another lazy day. We watched football and some of the programs I had taped at home. Slowly my DVR is going from 60 hours of programs down to 40 hours. But we have lots of time to watch them.

They did not get Jim out of bed today because he was a little congested today and we didn't want to tax him. So we just hung out. We talked a lot about the things we have done and the great times we've had. Jim also was talking about what we were going to do when he got better. He said one of the things he wanted to do first was to go see his family. I told him great we would do this since I am never one to turn down an invitation to go see our grandchildren. He was in good spirits and he's working to get better.

Tomorrow Jim is going to go to the hospital for a MRI of his neck. It will only take a couple of hours so I hope it does not tire him out to much. Dr. Meyer's says he has a rotatosy subluxation of C1-2 plus a possible break in his neck. Tomorrow we will know for sure. All we can do is hope for the best. He has had a really good nurse the past three days. Thank you Gwen, Dan, and Lori for all that you do.

This photos of Jim and I was from Bob and Teresa's wedding. Jim was so proud that day.

Rainbows Lift Our Spirits

There is just something so beautiful about a rainbow. Today Jim and I were watching it rain when a perfectly formed rainbow appeared outside his window. We couldn't stop looking at it as we smiled and just enjoyed the beauty of it. Jim asked me to go to the window and see where it ended. It ended over our house. Jim said, "Soon I'll be able to go home. The rainbow says so."

We had a really good day today. We watched TV all day, just as if we had been at home. We finally watched some of the season finale's that we missed in May. I transfered from our DVR to videotape so today we saw Ugly Betty, Criminal Mines, Bones, CSI Miami and Desperate Housewifes. It was great. Misty spent part of the day with us. Jack, grandma is working on your Harry Potter scarf. I have it half done.

The doctor said Jim is getting stronger and it was time to see if he can sit on the side of the bed. So either tomorrow or Monday we are going to give that a shot. It will give him such a boost.

You've Got Mail

I just love to go in to see Jim and to tell him "He's got mail." He loves all the cards he's received and it is such a pleasure for him. I put them on his bulletin board along with photos of his grandsons and children. I've used up one bulletin board and have started on the other one. So keep the cards coming. It really lifts his spirits. (HealthSouth Ridgelake Hospital, 6150 Edgelake Drive, Sarasota, FL 34240)

Today Dr. Hume told me that Jim looks better today than any other time since he has been seeing him. His color is good. His lungs are clear and he shows no sign of a fever. The cultured everything today to see if there is any infection anywhere. His wounds are bad but they are getting better. His spirits are good and he's really glad football has started because there is nothing on TV in the summer.

Jim went into the hospital the last week of the TV season so we have not watched any of the season finales. My sister Jackie suggested I hook up the TV with the VCR in it and record what I have on the DVR. I have been doing this for 2 days and tomorrow Jim and I are going to have a TV marathon. I will finally get to see the season finales. I still don't know what happened on Grey's Antomoy and Ugly Betty. This will be a great surprise for Jim. I'll just take the TV to the hospital.

I went to a scrapbook crop tonight and it was good to just sit and have fun and meet some new people. Since coming to Florida and have not really gotten out because of what has been going on so I got out there tonight. K2 Scrapbook Studio is wonderful and all of the ladies there have been so kind and wonderful. It is now like my second home and a place I can go and relax with my new friends.

Misty Visits Jim

Misty goes to visit Jim most days. She loves sitting on his bed and protecting him from all the people who come to poke and prod him. Actually she loves getting all the attention from the nurses and aides. One pulminary tech teases her and calls her killer. Jim just sits there and is the proud papa. Misty also has other patients she has to go visit each time she is there. She brightens the day of many patients.

Jim continues to rally. His lung xray today was really good. The doctors were really pleased with that. General condition is improving. They put a wound vac on his butt today and they are hoping that will help heal the bedsore.

His spirits are good and he was looking forward to watching the football game tonight. He was talking about his fantasy team. Bob is going to pick it for him but Jim told me that he had given Bob some advice on that.

The biggest thing that happened today was that Jim asked me for the sports page. He was able to hold the newspaper and read the sports page. I had to refold the paper to the inside pages but who cares he wanted and could read the paper.

Jim's faith, my faith and that of his entire family and his friends are helping him get through this. This week has been a real turnaround for him. He told me tonight, "honey I'm going to get better." Yesterday he told Kathryn, "Life Is Good."

Kathryn left tonight.

Kathryn had to go home tonight. Jim really hated to see her leave. He has brightened up so much with her here. She spent all the time she could with her father. It was wonderful for both of them. I peeked in twice a day on Jim and then left them alone. There is nothing better than a father spending time with his children. It does not matter if they are 3 to 50. It is important time.

Jim looks better today than he has looked throughout this ordeal. He had lots of action today. A plastic surgeon (and according to Kathryn he was very easy to look at) came in and removed the scab from Jim's bedsores. They are actually healing. The stomach doctor came in to put the plug in but the nursing staff ordered the wrong materials. Now it will have to wait a week while Dr. Nora goes on vacation. This is an experimental treatment so no one else can really do it. A nuerosurgeon came in to see Jim's neck also. Not really sure what is going to happen there but none of it is any good. This doctor also told us to get some protein powder and give it to Jim, he needs it to heal. Dr. Hume said Jim is looking much better.

As for me I actually slept for 10 hours last night. I needed it bad and plan to do the same thing tonight. Went to Scrap and Dash and that is always fun and then my sister and I were off to the airport with Kathryn. I don't like to drive that bridge but Jackie does not seem to mind. Thank God for my Sister. I would never have made it through this without her. Jackie I love you. You are my rock.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today my sister and I took mom for her very first pedicure and manacure. Of course we had the same done. The three of us sat in those big ole chairs and had the works done. It was absolutely great. What fun to do this together. Then tonight we went and played bingo at the club house together. Jackie and I both had a bingo but there was no bingo for mom on her birthday. Everyone did wish her a happy birthday and sang the birthday song.

Kathy spent the entire day with Jim today. He is so happy to have her here with him. You can just see it in his face. They talked and relaxed and just generally had a great day together. The plug stuff for his stomach hole finally came in today and Dr. Nora is going to come in tomorrow and plug up the hole. Hopefully once this is done Jim will be able to eat. They give him food and liquids and then take them away from. It is just awful for him because he wants a drink so bad. He is getting nutrition through an IV but it just is not the same as putting something in your mouth.

He seemed a little better to me today. He was more alert and was asking about day to day stuff like have I paid for my Cobra and have I paid the car payment. Which by the way on September 1st will be our last car payment. (Doing the happy dance) Kathy was amazed that he was able to pick out names of people on the TV today such as old singers and writers His mind is very active and seems as sharp as ever. I had worried about this because for several days he seemed so confused. He has declined all pain medication. He says he's done with that stuff.

Since Jim is talking now he has been getting phone calls. He really can't answer the phone but when I am there I can get the phone for him. He loves to hear from people. I am usually there from 11:30 to 1:00 and 5:00 to 7:00. If I don't answer just call back. The direct line is 941-342-3132. Don't everyone call tomorrow space out those calls. If the nurses are in the room they will pick up the phone for him.

Thanks to everyone for all of your thoughts and prayers. Patty and Misty

Jim's Health Care Advocate

Today I realized that I have a more important role to Jim than being his wife. I am his health care advocate. I have to make sure he is getting the best care possible and that his rights are protected and that his dignity is left intact. Last Friday Jim was given a roommate. This roommate has Lou Gerig's Disease and he also has a stap infection. Jim is in isolation for Mirsa and I was told that he would never have a roommate because of this.

No I do not mind a roommate but when this did happen he lost all of his privacy and I was concerned for the transfer of staph when he is trying to recover from this. Of course this happened last Friday at 6:00 when there was nothing I could do about it but to complain to the nurses who could do nothing about this. Now Tom had issues that I sympathize with but he has 4-5 visitors at all times. This means that Jim is no longer in isolation because these people are in an out all the time. Jim can not get out of bed so all of his business is taken care of in bed. Because he has only the TV for entertainment he can't close his curtain. Therefore no privacy. I worried about this all weekend. Today it came to a head with me. They were trying to to a bedpan with him the curtain was open and all these people were going in and out. The patient advocate came out of me and unfortuantly I had to go all the way to the people that can make these decisions. I was nice, I was patient but I was firm. I told them this could not continue. Fortunately, we were able to work this out and Jim is now in a private room.

Lots of activity today. He was taken on a field trip today to have a CT scan of his neck. No results yet but we think it is just a strained muscle from leaning his head in one direction. A padiotrist came in an checked Jim's foot and clipped his toenails. He has a small sore that needs to be watched. Dr. Nora came in to check the stomach wound and he is coming back tomorrow to try and plug the hole.

Kathy and Bob stayed with Jim until Bob had to leave for the airport. I went to a quilt club meeting with my mother and had a great time. Jim watched the football game so he was doing fine.

Bob and Kathy talked to the doctors today about Jim's condition. It is still going to be a very long and hard road. All we can do is hope for the best. Jim is not healing and the longer he stays in bed the weaker he gets. A lot will depend on how much fight he has left in him. It is very hard on him as it would be on all of us. All we can do is be there for him and love him. The rest is up to Jim and all the higher powers we can call on.

We went to Leroy Selmons for lunch today and my sister took this picture of us. My god I look awful. I need to get some more rest. Those bags under my eyes are huge. I have no perm left and it is so hot here that all I can do is pull my hair back and off my neck.

Jim is Looking So Good

It seems that over the past two days Jim had gone through a total transformation. He is really alert and aware of what is going on. He doesn't seem so foggy. He has now been off the ventilator since Thursday. Tomorrow he is scheduled for his swallow test. We hope this is still on because today once again his cranberry juice was leaking out of the hole where the feeding tube had been. Dr. Nora is going to put a fibrous plug in the hole and hope that will do the trick. They made Jim NPO around 5:00 today and he just shook his head. Not again he said. He wants to eat so bad. So with any luck this will not hold us back tomorrow.

Kathy and Bob spent most of the day with Jim. They nurses put him in a recliner and rolled him down to the day room to give him a change of scenery. He stayed there almost an hour until his butt started to hurt. He has a bed sore the size of a coffee saucer. But this gave him a real uplift. He was talking really well today also. He was even able to talk to his two sisters in Indiana.

Yes he was talking. When I went to see him at 5:00. He told me to go home. He wanted to sleep. See he's fiesty. Took a quick trip back at 7:30 to make sure the football game was on and to say good night. Guess what he wanted to talk about. Me getting a job. He said go get a job, you are paying $727 for your Cobra. I told him all in good time. He is my job right now. He also told me that I was going to make a callous on this hand where I keep rubbing it. Yes he's feeling better.

I know everything looks so good but I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Although this is the best I've seen him I can't forget he has lots of problems but just maybe we have turned the corner. I know seeing his children has been a big lift for him. Having this much love surround him has to be good. I will say a prayer tonight for us to keep going up the hill.

Kathy and I were looking at photos tonight and I found one of my favorites. Here it is.

Kathy and Bob Arrived Today

Jim had a really good day today. Bob and Kathy flew in tonight for a visit with their Dad. All day today he kept asking me what time it was. He knew their plane landed at 9:15 and he figured out what time they would be there. It was so good to see him excited about something and to be feeling good.

Jim the football fan is so happy that the season has started. Today he wanted to take a nap but he made sure the nurses woke him up at 7:00 so that he could watch the game. I told him that he is the newest Bucaneer Fan so he better cheer for the right side. While we were in Chicago, the day of the Bear/Buc game was never a good day in our house. We would not even watch the game together.

HealthSouth let me bring Bob and Kathy into the hospital at 11:00 tonight so it was really good for Jim to see them. He was just grinning. I love to see him happy and his children make him happy. Love does great things for people and I hope this does great things for Jim. He certainly looked better today.

So I didn't know what picture to put up today so here is a random day of happiness.

Sorry Larry but it's a good picture of Jim.

Jim smiled while he slept today.

Today was a good day for Jim. He was off the ventilator all day and tonight he had his speaking valve on so we could talk. It is so much easier than trying to read his lips. When we play the charade game he just shakes his head when I don't get what he's saying. He gets so frusrated but I always get the word bullshit. Everyday brings new challenges but today we didn't have any so it's nice to have a quiet day. The kidney doctor was in and said all was well. His general doctor was pleased with his condition today.

I told him Bob and Kathy were coming tomorrow and it was like a transformation went over him. He was smiling and telling the nurses they were coming. He is so happy. He got a chance to talk to Kathy on the phone and what a pick up that was for him. The physical therapist came in right after the phone call to give him a neck message (he has a stiff neck) and he went to sleep in the middle of it and he was smiling. It was so cute. Don't tell him I said so because it will embarass him.

I was energized by his condition so I came home and did these two scrapbook pages. These photos were taken on our cruise last year. I took them in tonight to show to him and we both smiled and talked about our cruise. I love the quote. "Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance." I don't know who said it but it is so true. No matter what life has in store for Jim we are happy being together right now and loving each other. We tell each other everyday. I think in our daily lives we didn't do this as often as we should have but we are now.

What I have to say to who ever reads this. Tell the people you love that you do love them. Verbalizing your emotions and tell them they mean so much to you and tell them how much you love them. Tell them every day. Take the time because it is so important.

Jim and I had a relaxing evening together watching TV and holding hands. Today was good or as Jim would say, "Life is Good."

Remembering Happier Times

As I looked at Jim today I was remembering how happy he was when we moved to Florida. He was making new friends at the bridge club and was enjoying our life here in the sunshine. He was like a little kid when someone called to see if he could play bridge. He would look at me and smile and say do you care if I play today. I always said yes. I was so happy that he could go out and do what he loved best and that was to play bridge.

He also loved the new life we were creating. Time with my family and exploring Sarasota. He even enjoyed a new card game Hands and Foot that he played with my family.

He missed his family and friends but always said we could go visit. He loves his grandchildren so much and they bring such joy to him. The one time they were here he never even saw them. I have recounted their visit to him in pictures and stories and he smiles every time. He says we'll go visit. I am not sure today that that will ever happen. The doctors are concerned. I am concerned.

Jim I love you. Please fight this. Please come back to the new life we are creating. I need you so. You are the light in my life.

Patty

A Bit Confused Today

Today Jim was a bit confused about things. It started out today when I went to visit Jim. He was really mad at me. He was also mad at Bob. It seems he thought that Bob and I had left him alone with Lucas (our grandson). He wanted to know where we went and why Bob had a gun. Now that is confused. I explained to him that Lucas was home in Illinois with Bob and Teresa and everything was OK. Tonight he wanted to place bets in Vegas.

I talked with the doctor and he said that Jim was sedated for a very long time. He said that these drugs cause patients to have very bad dreams and these dreams some time come from the people that visit with him and things he may hear that we don't realize. These dreams are a part of his reality. We just have to be patient with him and explain the way things really are. He made of heard the nurses talking about going to Vegas and that peaked his interest there. He may have heard Bob saying he was going to go home but was leaving Teresa and the kids here with me. I guess that explains some of this but it is hard to see him this confused. He has really been focusing on Bob. When I visited him this afternoon I took in this picture of Bob and Lucas and showed him that all was well and they were together. That seemed to satisfy him. I took this picture while they were here in Florida.

Tom Haley, Sally's brother, came to visit today and that seemed to perk Jim up. It is always good for him to see someone other than me.

He was off the ventilator all day today and they had his speaking valve on so he could talk to us and boy was he talking. He did have a lot to say. His wants right now are food, drink and getting home. He told the nurses this morning that he thought it was time for him to go home.

I agree . . . but alas he is not ready. Today he was stronger and seemed better. Let's home it continues this way. I went over tonight and tucked him in and gave him a hug. He smiled and was asleep before I left.

Jim's Fiestier Than Ever

The doctors are all completely confused over Jim. He seems to be the best he has been since his surgery. All of his stats are normal. They can not find a reason for his heart stopping. They are now going to look into a pacemaker. The cardiologist is coming in tomorrow. But Jim is fiesty now. They are being careful with his care. They are taking the venetilator on and off just to make sure everything is OK. What this means to Jim is that he can not eat, drink or talk. These are the three things he want to do. The pulminary doctor told me late today that they are going to be aggressive with getting him back off the vent.

Something else that is new. Today he wanted to do the Crypto puzzle and the sudoku from the paper. I take the paper in everyday and read him the highlights. Today he said he wanted the puzzle section. Occupational therapy is working with him so that he can do these puzzles. Tomorrow they are bringing in some kind of easel so he can read the fantasy magazines. He has to draft at the end of the month so he has studying to do.

Today I finished my pages for the monthly scrapbooking contest at the local scrapbook store. I focused on Jack's preschool graduation. Tonight I went to Bingo with my mother and sister at our clubhouse and I won one bingo for $15. This is not a big bingo hall just the people in our complex. I made a profit of $6 but still it was fun.

Well off to bed so that I am rested for whatever comes tomorrow.

Back at Healthsouth

Jim has made a remarkable recovery from the code blue incident Sunday morning. He was transferred back to Healthsouth at 5:00 pm today. He has gone through 24 hours of intensive testing. They scanned everything, xrayed everthing and poked him everywhere. I do not have the results of any of the tests yet but I do know that he looks so much better. They also gave him a pint of blood today because his hemogloben was low.

Hopefully tomorrow I will get back his test results and will find out what happened Sunday morning. He is alert and talking back. I wanted to watch So You think You can Dance tonight but he wanted to watch Monday night football. He won. He's still fiesty.

He was really glad to get back to Healthsouth. His room is big and relaxing. It's almost like a big homey bedroom. His window looks out the front so he can actually see me drive up, so he knows when I am there. Took Misty with me tonight. Both were happy to be reunited.

Last week my mother brought Jim an amazing quilt wall hanging. This now hangs in his room. He loves looking at it and boasting to all the nurses about his grandchildren.

The air conditioning in our car was not working properly for the past week so today I took it in for repair. Luckily it only need service. Yea!!! Because baby it's hot down here.

Love to all,

Patty and Misty

Dr. Morgan

Good news this morning. Dr. Morgan, the most negative doctor Jim has, called with a good report on Jim. He was taken off the dopomine. She said that was very good. She said he was so much better that he would probably go back to Healthsouth in the next 24 to 48 hours. They are going to do a couple of scans this morning and Dr. Nora is doing a procedure on the stomach hole. They have even reduced his oxygen levels. Go Jim go. You are doing great.

Jim's New Look at Life

Today was a really bad day. Probably a 10 on the bad day scale. At 4:30 this morning Jim went into cardic arrest. They were able to bring him back within two minutes. They called me and I was at the hospital within 20 minutes. He was alert and responsive and he knew what had just happened to him. He was scared and I just held him the best I could with all of his paraphenlia. The doctor felt that it would be safer for him to be at Sarasota Memorial so they called the paramedics and he was moved with lights flashing.

At the hospital they let me sit with him while they did what they do. Kevin (our previous vent tech) actually lowered his oxygen levels. Doctors, lab techs and blood guys came and went and by 9:00 they deemed him stable. Working on an hour or two of sleep they said to go home and let them do what they do. I asked Jim what he wanted me to do and he said to go home that he would be fine. He puckered up for a kiss so I knew he would be OK for a while.

Sleep came and went but mostly I freted. Dr. Morgan called and she was negative. Dr. Prakash called and he was positive. They have called all previous docs for consults. So far the speculations and facts are:

• Maybe a mild heart attack. Dr. to determine tomorrow.


• Maybe a mucas clot got in the trach so he couldn't breathe which made his heart slow down and stop


• Chest x-ray showed improvement from 2 weeks ago


• Giving him a pint of blood. Hemoglobin is low


• There is an infection somewhere and the can not find it but are working on it


• Lots of antibiotics


• Dopomine for blood pressure


• 40% oxygen, down from this morning

He was in good spirits when I left tonight. He wanted to watch the football game so that was good because he was aware that there was a football game. He laughed at my sister's jokes and he told me he loved me. I assured him that we all love him and are praying he can get through this.

For today God has decided it's not his turn. The chaplain was there and was great with both of us. Tonight I'll sleep and think of the wonderful times we've had and that we will again. This is a picture of one of those fun times.

Saturday - A Busy Day

They say I have to take care of myself so I did some things for myself today. I went to a Doodling class this morning and what fun. I found it was OK to just have fun doodling on my scrapbook pages. I'll post some of them when I'm finished.

I have not taken Misty to see Jim for the past couple of days. She is not happy about this.

After class I went to see Jim. We've had a couple of pretty bad days. It seems you are going along just fine and then Bam. You hit a wall. Jim spiked a 103 temp on Thursday and we were desperate to find the cause and to get the temp down. I spent the entire day with him. My job was to put fresh ice packs under his arms, groin and forehead every 30 minutes. We were able to get the temp down but it just wiped him out. They gave him pain meds to keep him comfortable. The problem was his breathing so they put him back on the venelator. This was to keep him from expending all of his energy on the breathing. He slept most of Thursday and Friday.

Today the cultures are back and he has a yeast infection. This is the best possible of all the infections as it is the easiest to treat. More antiobiotics for Jim. They also removed the pick line and put another one in.

All of this has left Jim really depressed. He just lies their and is looking incrediably sad. I know this is really hard for him after going along great. He was eating and they were talking about taking the trach out. Now he's taken this huge step backward. I wanted to hug him but with all of the tubes and wires it's hard. But I got in there and just held him and told him that it was going to be OK. I told him how much I love him and together we would see this through. I said give me a smile and he did. I told him I was going to go to the movies and not to chase the nurses while I was gone. That got a smile out of him.

The nurses told me a little while ago that he did watch the Miami/Jacksonville game so that was good. I have the new Fantasy magazines for him so we're now in Football mode.

Go Bucs. The've got their first win.

Jim Is Getting Better

Today is day 97 of Jim's hospitalization. So many of you have asked me how I was doing and I always say great becaus that is what I want to be. Most days I am great. I do all the things I normally do but there are other days I just don't do anything. I call these my Pity Days. You know what I deserve them.

Today is not one of my PD. Jim was feeling rather good today. Yesterday he had his hair cut and his eyebrows clipped. I know this made him feel better. He really looked better. You could have braided his hair. When I went to see him today he was feeling good. He does still have problems:

• Gall Bladder infected
• Trach still not out
• Catherter
• A hole in his stomach. You could put a golf ball into the hole. The hole in the stomach wall still has not healed up so sometimes whatever he drinks comes out the hole.

Good things:

• Smaller trach tube
• No fever
• Getting stronger
• He can talk
• He can eat pureed foods

So all in all he's getting better. As for me I'm getting better to. Mrs. Stoffer and I are on intimate terms and she visits often. I am doing a lot of scrapbooking. I'll post some of my pages soon. Misty keeps me busy and she loves visiting Jim. Today she got away from us and was running around the nurse's station. I was laughing even while I tried to catch her. She can be a trip.