Happy Hump Day

Mid week already and I think I have been going non-stop. I had my water aerobics class this morning. They were working on the big pool today so we had to move to the little pool. This pool is not heated so there were some early morning groans as we got into the pool. The rain keeps the temperature down. Then it was back to the computer and job hunting mode. Groan.

Tonight I went to Scrap and dash and the layouts were wonderful. I have to get my July 4th photos printed so I can add the photos.

Rick I told you I would use this photo of you and your grandmother. You have been making these faces for me your entire life. One of these days I am going to make a layout just of your funny faces. This is mom on the 4th and our picnic.

The peaches I picked up in Georgia are absolutely wonderful. I hope to make a cobbler on Friday for Scraptherapy.

We seem to have the mold somewhat under control in the bathroom. Construction starts Friday I hope because this mold has got to go. Tomorrow I have to go pick out the new tile and paint color. I think I am going to stay with green but a lighter shade of the green in the hallway. I hope to find a neutral color for the floor. Then I have to take down the flower border so when they paint they can do both walls.

Fort Gordon Fireworks

Augusta is right next to Fort Gordon and we took advantage of being able to go to the military fireworks the night before the 4th. The Army always does it up big. The Army band was playing, the cannons were going off and the fireworks filled the sky. I had been reading up on how to take firework shots with my digital camera and I must say I did really well. I took about 100 photos and got some really nice shots. Here are two of my favorites. The photo of my family is a little blurred. It's hard to keep them still especially when you are using available light and not a flash.

Today I spent most of the day job hunting. What a drag this is getting to be. Why can't I find a job. Who would have thought this would be so hard. I found some really good opportunities today so I hope they will pan out.

Bingo tonight. All three of us won. Jackie was the big winner at $60. I won only $15 and mom won $6. She had to split.

A Happy 4th of July in Augusta

Jackie, Mom, our friend Barbara and Misty and myself traveled to Augusta for the 4th of July. Rick and Heather were having a big family open house weekend for their new home. I call the first picture, Three Old Broads with wimpy sparklers bought by men. The sparklers were huge but they barely sparkled. The other photo shows Rick and I in our red, white and blue.

We had a really good time. We left Wednesday mid afternoon and arrived well after midnight. Thursday was hanging out at the new house and out to dinner that night. Friday the fourth was very typical picnic fare. A Barbecue, hanging out in the back yard, and water hose fun. Misty had the time of her life. There were 3 other dogs there and she loved the freedom of the back yard.

Saturday we did a little shopping and another back yard barbecue. My nephew Rick made the best chicken you have ever tasted. It was not burned, it was cooked completely, and it was juicy. I loved it.

More on our trip over the next couple of days. Just wanted everyone to know that I haven't fallen off the earth. Just went to Georgia for a few days. I did not touch a telephone or a computer for 6 whole days. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Job Hunting S.............

Job hunting is really getting to be a drag. Where did all the jobs go and why can't I get one. The market is totally new now. You can no longer go into a business and apply for a job. All job applications are taken via the web. Then then are scanned by a machine and the machine picks who gets an interview. I'm surprised a machine doesn't do the interviews. You have to have key words or the scanner won't pick it up. So this means that every resume you send out has to practically be an original to that particular job because you have to include key words to that specific company. So yes I am continuing my search with new resumes going out every day.

Aren't these cute photos of Josh. He was having so much fun on the airplane. Love the layout and it is digital.

Just an ordinary Wednesday. Water aerobics in the morning, job hunting, scrap and dash, some grocery shopping and watching TV at night. Misty and I just got back from her run so it's time for bed. Have a great Thursday.

Moved Furniture around today

The first two layouts are from last week's Creative Cafe monthly class. We meet the third Thursday of every month. Fun to get out and get the creative juices flowing. The second two are layouts I did over the past week. Jack, Josh and Luke, Grandma loves you and misses you so much. Hope you are having a wonderful summer and getting to play outside. I love making scrapbook pages for you. Can't wait to show them to you. Love you guys.

Jackie and I moved my living room furniture around today. What a lot of work but it is really well worth the effort. My living room looks so much bigger. The hardest part was the TV. There are so many cords what with the Dish TV and the home theater system with six speakers. We were even able to hide most of the cords. I still have to tack down several of the cords. I washed the floor every time we cleared a wall so the floor is nice and clean now. The dining room is a mess because we put all the extra stuff there. Tomorrow I'll finish the clean sweep and take some pictures for the blog.

I had a few tough moments after the big change. Jim would have loved how the living room looks now. He would have had more room to lay on the floor and watch TV and oh how he loved that. I miss you honey.

Tonight was Bingo night. Mom and Jackie both were able to yell bingo but it was not in the cards for me. There was a huge lightening storm as we were driving home and Misty was going crazy. I was able to get her out before the rain started.

Laid Back Weekend

I had a very laid back weekend. Yesterday it rained most of the day so was in most of the day. In the morning Jackie and I went to breakfast and then to Habitat home improvement. This store has tons of used building parts. They have everything from nuts and bolts to windows and doors. Most of this stuff is used but they do have new things in boxes. I was looking for two cabinets for my scrapbook/craft room. I envision a Formica counter top sitting on two cabinets. Buying all of this stuff is expensive so I am looking for used. New cabinets cost $113 and up. I was able to find 2 really nice cabinets for $39. I will need to sand them and paint them. But in the end they will be perfect. Love that I can do this stuff myself and have it look great. At least that is what I am hoping for. Once I get the cabinets done I'll go back and look for a counter.

I made spaghetti last night for dinner and then we played Hands and Foot. Just a nice relaxing dinner. I made an orange cake with chocolate frosting to celebrate Jim's new home. This was his favorite. Honey I am always thinking about you.

Spent time at the pool today. What a glorious day it was after yesterday's rain. Then went to the early bird movie and saw Get Smart. Got to love the $5 movie. Have a great week. Wish me luck on my job search. There are a number of jobs in today's paper so I will follow up on these tomorrow.

Jim Is Home

Jim always told me, "Take me to Notre Dame." He loved this school. He cheered for the football team in good times and bad. It did not matter to him. He loved the girls basketball team and watched them on TV. He got the Blue and Gold every week and read it completely. I continued to read it to you in the hospital. This was home to him. He grew up in South Bend, Indiana, and for anyone that has ever been there you know that everyone in this town loves the big ND. Your ND things will always have a special place in our home.

I am so happy that he is home now and I know he is at peace. He has been taken very good care of by his sisters for the last two months. They tell him jokes and share their days with him. For this I am so grateful. I know he was happy with them because he loved them so much.

We all miss you so much Jim. My love, my dear husband, and my best friend. But I know you are happy now and this I share with you too. I will always love you. I'll dry my tears and wait for football season.

It's All About Josh Today.

I guess my layouts today are all about Josh. The top one is from Scrap and Dash tonight. I was able to do the facing page with some of my stash I had at home. I had been looking for just the right colors for these adorable photos. They were so bright and colorful. The second one I did a while ago but it got stuck between some other papers. I just love grandma time and the best is snuggling with my grandchildren. I stuck a note to Josh in the pocket of this layout. He'll get a kick out of this note someday.

Went to K2 for Scrap and Dash tonight and was also able to do the two page art bar project. They are a Fourth of July spread so I have to wait until the fourth to get some photos for these pages.

Did mundane things the rest of the day. Grocery shopping and taking Misty out for her to run. Have to go tend her now because it is thundering outside and she just hates that.

A Rare Rainy Morning

Today we had a very rare rainey morning. When I woke up I thought it wasn't morning because it was so dark. To my surprise it was 8:30 am and the sun was not out. Think never happens. It rained most of the morning but when the sun did come out we are talking sauna bath. The driveway was steaming. Yuk.

Not much happened today. Did some job hunting and some sorting of my office. I am buried under a lot of paper so I decided to see if there really was a desk under all that paper.

Everyone have a great week.

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all you dads and grandfathers out there. Hope you were able to spend the day with you children and grandchildren and had the best day ever.

I lost my father over 22 years ago and I still miss him very much. So much has happened in my life that I have not been able to share with him and I have to believe that he knows that we still think about him and that we love him. We make sure his grandchildren know all about him so that he never is forgotten.

I thought a lot about Jim today and one moment tonight I just lost it. Last year there was a show on TV, Who wants to be Danny and Sandy. It was a reality show and the winners were going to get to star in the new Broadway Show Grease. Jim and I watched this show together because we love the show Grease. This was way before he was sick. At the finale when they announced the winners Jim turned to me and said I am going to take you to New York for our anniversary and we are going to see the play. At that moment in time we were so happy and we had so many plans. Jim was so excited about this trip and he was making these plans when he got sick. Tonight I was watching the Tony Awards and there was Grease. There was Danny and Sandy that we had watched. For me all I could remember was that moment in time that we were so happy.

Reject Letters

I hate reject letters. Got one today on a job I really wanted and I really thought I aced the interview. Oh well I just have to keep trying. At least I got an interview. What is that 2 interviews out of over 100 applications I've filled out. This is not a good job market.

Did some more cleaning today. Had to work on the bathroom cabinet where they are going to tear out the wall. This is not going to be a fun project but it does need to be done. Jackie thinks all my sneezing is from the mold in the wall. Could be.

I went to the pool today and took Misty for a good run tonight. Mom, Jackie, Barb and I went to dinner at Red Lobster and I had the honey/citrus marinated grilled shrimp and scallops. It was really good. We then came back to my house and played cards. A normal Saturday night for us.

Three of these layouts use up my design team kit from April. That kit went a really long way. You may wonder why I used the same picture twice. It is because each boy gets a scrapbook and this picture needs to be in each scrapbook. Scrapbooking is really a release for me. Between the great people and the sense of purpose, it gives me so much. Thank you scrapbook buddies for being there for me this past year. You are great.

Thank You For Friday's

When you are looking for a job it is almost a full time job. This week I have spent so much time on the computer looking for a job. No one takes walk ins anymore. They tell you to go to their website. So that is what I have been doing. I've applied for about 15 jobs that I think I am qualified for. So wish me luck and now I have two days off before it starts again.

I didn't leave the house today and after my job search I just took it easy. More thunderstorms and Misty was just a barking. Tonight I worked on some scrapbook layouts. Here's what I came up with. Enjoy.

My Turn to make Dinner

I made a really great pasta salad tonight. It had bow tie pasta, green, yellow and red peppers, onions, ham and salami, tomatoes and cheese. I topped it off with a strawberry wine vinaigrette. It tasted so good. In fact we're having it again tomorrow for lunch since it was so good and there is a lot left over.

We had some terrific thunderstorms today and it was all I could do to keep Misty calm. She does not like thunder. She was just trembling. I had to hold her the whole time and just try to calm her down. This has been a hard week for her with all of the storms. I don't know why they scare her so much but I keep working with her. I don't know what she'll do when I'm not home with her.

No luck on the job front so far. There was a tree climbing job in the paper today. I may be over qualified for that but it does sound like fun.

The first two layouts here are from my mother's quilt retreat last April. The red white and blue layout is for my June challenge page and the last page was a digital layout I did today. Still trying to sharpen my skills.

Happy Birthday Joshua

Happy Birthday Joshua!

Today is your birthday and Grandma just wanted to tell you how much she loves you. Since I live in Florida now I can't be with you on your birthday but just know I am sending you a great big grandma hug.

Have a really fantastic birthday.

Love Grandma

Just When You Get the House Clean

Got up this morning full of energy and got right to cleaning the house. The floors are sparkling and the kitchen is clean. The bathrooms are clean and maybe no so much the bedroom. All of the dust is gone from my bookcases, china hutch and curio cabinet. What a good feeling it is when the house is clean. But then . . .

My guest bathroom window has been leaking and it's now time to have it fixed along with the soft floor in the master bathroom. President Bush says spend the money so I am getting these two things fixed. The first thing the insurance adjuster and contractor did was pull down part of the wall in my guest bathroom. No more sparkling clean. There is tile, dust and splinter wood everywhere. This is what you get when you actually put your mind to cleaning. They told me they would get back to me in a couple of days with the verdict on getting this fixed. Luckily much of this will be covered by my homeowners insurance so my out of pocket won't be as bad as I thought. There's nothing I can do about it anyway because if I don't get it fixed it is only going to get worse.

Did a little job hunting this afternoon on the net and then went to Scrap and Dash. So it was a pretty busy day. The two orange layouts I did in April and were part of my guest designer packet. They have been hanging at K2 since April. The other two layouts I have been working on for several weeks. Enjoy.

Back to Bingo

Last week and this week Jackie, Mom and I are back to playing bingo. Both weeks I won a bingo even though tonight I had to split my prize money with one other person. But who cares I just love to win. Jackie was close all night but just couldn't bring it home.

We didn't have any thunderstorms to day and I am thankful for that. Misty just goes crazy with the lightning and thunder. They said on the news last night that there were approximately 2000 lightening strikes. Misty just can't take this. Most of these photos were taken while I was in Chicago.

My day was spent job hunting, cleaning and running errands. No word on the job hunt yet but I can not give up on this. There is a job out there for me.

These four layouts are from Scrap and Dash that I go to on Wednesday's. They saved them for me while I was in Chicago and I caught up on them this past weekend.

Behind in blogging

Well I guess I really am behind in blogging. It has been a really busy two weeks. My main focus has been job hunting and it is not an easy task in today's economy. Everyone seems to be laying off or not hiring when a position comes vacant. I have sent out about 50 resumes and we know that 90 percent of these end up in the trash and you hope for the best with the other 10 percent. I have actually had one phone interview and one live interview. Not bad for the first two weeks. I would really like this one job so I have my fingers crossed and hoping I hear soon.

I have also been catching up on my health. I saw the doctor before I left for Chicago and they did a bunch of tests before I left. Results are in. One I have B12 Deficiency Anemia which is actually heriditery. Levels are supposed to be 600 and mine are 200. I kept complaining about being tired all of the time and having no energy. This is the reason. I have to have monthly B12 shots and it will take about 3 months to get back to normal. Also on the high side is my cholesteral, sugar and blood pressure. No surprise here since I am living and have been living a very stressful life. So my second focus is getting myself together and well again. I actually lost 17 pounds since May 1 so I guess I am forging ahead on this.

I have a wall falling apart in my house and today I took the first step to getting this repaired. I also have a soft floor in the bathroom so this needs to be repaired also. I have done a little sorting of some of Jim's things but this is very hard and people tell me that this process will take some time. There is no hurry so I am not going to stress over this part. I like having his things around me. It's comfortable and makes me happy.

I've been exercising at the pool and this is a good thing. I usually meet my sister there in the late afternoon but the past couple of days we've had thunderstorms so have gotten there. Jackie suggested today that we go at 7:00 am. I squashed that right away.

Saturday I went to an all day crop and that was really fun. I haven't done this for awhile so it is great to get back to my passion. These are two of the layouts I did. I did more and will share them this week.

Catching Up

Today was kind of a catch up day. I really hadn't left my complex since I returned home so it was a day to run errands. I was able to catch up on them in three hours flat. It is way to hot to run around town so it was back to my cool house for me. I even went to the pool today. It's time to get back to exercising so maybe I am back in the swing with that. I didn't go until about 5:00 and that was just perfect.

The pool made me happy today. Yeah!

I also had some time to play around with this digital layout. These photos were taken the day after I arrived in Chicago. It was one of the few times I got to take pictures of the boys.

Yes today I applied for two jobs. There is not much out there but I am spending every day trying to find something that will challenge me and give me health care.

When Did It Get So Hot

While I was in Chicago we had very few warm days. Most of the time it was in the low 50's and I was complaining. I almost had to go out and buy sweat pants I was so cold. I did borrow socks from Adrienne because my feet were freezing. But that is the way it is when it's spring in Chicago.

But the wonder of spring in the north is so beautiful. This is a photo of my friend Phyllis in front of her peony tree and the other photo is of her lilacs. The fragrance was wonderful. As we drove around I just marveled at all of the beautiful spring flowers. It was such a treat to enjoy these flowers. These flowers made me happy and so did my friends. I'm behind on my happy comments.

Now I'm in Florida and it's hot. I will never complain about the cold again. I promise.

I've been home for three days now and Misty has not left my side. In fact she's under my feet right now asleep. I don't know what's going to happen when I go out tomorrow. She keeps thinking I'm not coming back . . . but I will.

I'm Home

Well I have returned home this weekend and ready to face all of my challenges. I spent three weeks in Chicago and it really helped to get it together. I stayed with my good friend Adrienne (shown at left) and her whole family were just what the doctor ordered. Rest and relaxation. Adrienne has 21 grandchildren and they really put a smile on your face. This is a photo with the youngest 3. We played some bridge, shopped and ate Chicago pizza. What fun.

The saddest part for me was not seeing much of my grandchildren but hopefully this will work out in the future. I think Jim was looking out for me because when I got to the airport there were my grandchildren on the same plane as me going to Florida and then on to Disney World. The first thing I heard was Grandma you're here. Then once I was on the plane there was Jim again because they were sitting right in front of me. I got to enjoy them for the entire plane ride. What are the odds of this happening.

It was so sad to come home to my empty house. My Jim will never be here again. Thank goodness for Misty because she had a great big welcome for me. I can tell you that she really missed me. She has not left my side since my returning. I have not done much for the past two days. I'm just catching up with my feelings and getting ready to face the future.

Thank you everyone for all of the notes and cards and phone calls. You are so wonderful. As soon as I dig out from all the mail I have thank you notes to write so that will keep me busy. I also have to find a job with health care. Not that will be a challenge. Love to all.

Feeling a lot better

I think I am getting over my sinus problems. Now that I have used an entire box of tissues my nose is drying up. Yesterday Catey and I even ventured to Macy's for an hour. Didn't buy anything except a small gift. Later Larry, Catey and I met Adrienne in Batavia for dinner. She is watching her grandchildren for the weekend. They Catey and I relaxed and watched two movies. Do not watch I am Legend with Will Smith unless you like horror movies. Wow this was scarred us to death.

What made me happy yesterday. The sun came out and it was a beautiful day. It was the perfect spring day in Chicago.

Today we did absolutely nothing but hang out and watched TV. This made me happy since it gave me another day to clear up my sinus infection.

I hope this week is better. Now that I'm feeling better I hope to see some friends, shop a little and spend some time with Jack, Josh and Luke before I return to Florida.

Too many funerals

Today I attended my third funeral in 3 weeks. This is way to much. My friends and I are devastated with the loss of these special friends. The message the priest brought to us today is to live today because tomorrow is not certain. Keep in contact with friends and family that have gone before us with prayers and those that are here to just tell them you love them. We all know this but do we do it. We get so busy sometimes that we forget. We have got to take the time to enjoy our families and our friends. I am certainly going to do this from now on.

What made me happy today. There was one thing. I had Lou's pizza tonight. True thick Chicago pizza. It was great. Plus the sun was shining today. It was beautiful in Chicago. 71 and Sunny. Haven't seen much of that while I have been here especially since yesterday it was 48 and raining. Love the sun and miss it so much.

Thanks Jackie and Mom for taking care of Misty. Love you both.

I have a cold

It's either a cold or a really bad sinus infection. Yesterday all I did was sneeze and blow my nose plus sleep most of the day. I did have lunch with a friend and that was fun. We stopped by the Windy City Scrapbooking store before lunch and that made me happy. I was in scrapbook withdrawal so even though I was feeling bad I had to make the stop.

The other thing that made me happy was a dish of Cold Stone ice cream. See even when I feel bad I can still find something to make me happy.

A Little Behind in Blogging

This picture of my sister makes me happy. My friends in Chicago have an English Terrier Pit bull. This dog believes he is a lap dog as you can see in this photo. My sister was so shocked when Arenot jumped up on her lap but she just laughed. Right now she probably has my little Misty in her lap. What a difference.

I spent Monday with my grandchildren, Kathryn and Teresa. We went to Buffalo Wings and ate appetizers and played video games. Being together always makes me happy.

Yesterday Adrienne and I ran errands and just goofed off. We even played bridge last night. Bridge makes me happy and it is not something I have done a lot of lately. Not having Jim across the table from me makes me sad because he so loved the game.

We lost another friend yesterday. David Gilbert, age 50, died of a massive heart attack and died before the ambulance made it to the hospital. We will go to his funeral Friday to mourn the loss of another friend. That makes three. All on a Tuesday and all two weeks apart.

I'm trying hard to find something that makes me happy today. I've spent the day just resting and thinking about Jim and our life together. He made me happy. He loved me and for right now that makes me happy.

Finding the Happy Moments

My life has not exactly been happy over the past couple of weeks. My heart is breaking and it would be very easy to hide in a hole and withdraw from everyone and everything. I am stronger than this and Jim would not want me to do this. So for the next 30 days I have going to blog about something happy that has happen to me each day. I am hoping this will help me to get back on the right track and to actually know that I can be and find happy moments in my day to day activities. Remember my word for the year is strength and I need to find that and happy moments will help me find the strength to face the new challenge in my life.

Today is Mother's Day and I am so happy that my mother is still with me. I tried to reach her today but she was not home. Mom, I love you and appreciate you every day. Thank you for taking care of Misty while I am gone. This means so much to me. I will try to reach you tomorrow. It doesn't matter that it is not Mother's day because I love you every day.

I was also happy today because I was with my friend Adrienne and her 4 daughters, 1 son, 1 son in law, and 9 grandchildren. What fun it was to watch them have so much fun together.

I am also happy that my sister was here today and sad that she had to go back to Sarasota tonight. Love you Jackie.

That's a lot of happiness for just one day.

We Said Goodbye

Yesterday we said goodbye to my Jim. The day was hard but so many friends and family joined us to celebrate Jim's life. It was so wonderful. The service was in Elmhurst, Ill. and it was just what Jim would have wanted. It was simple but lovely. The family entered the church to Dancing Queen and it brought smiles to the faces of those in the church. They just knew that that was Jim. He loved Abba. The retired minister spoke and he knew Jim so well. Angie spoke of Jim's bridge life and Gesa sang Ava Maria so beautifully it brought tears to my eyes. My grandsons sat on either side of me along with my sister and we remembered grandpa.

Afterward we went to a Braur House and toasted Jim's life. The pizza was perfect and I heard repeated toasts all day. Yes Jim is smiling and dancing to Abba. He is now at home at Notra Dame and Life Is Good.

Grandma Hugs Are the Best

I'm here in Chicago now and I have to tell you that the best medicine for healing is big hugs from the most wonderful grandchildren in the world. I spent most of the day with them yesterday and there is absolutely nothing better. Jack, Josh and Lucas came to see me yesterday and oh yes they brought their amazing mother Teresa with them. She got to sit back and just enjoy the afternoon. My friend Adrienne had 4 of her grandchildren here also and the 7 of them spent the entire afternoon out in the back yard playing. There is a club house and swings and balls. What fun. Then just for the children's enjoyment a car exploded down the street and the flames were huge. Then we had firemen and trucks. The children just loved all the excitement.

Now there were some hard moments to. Jack asked me why his grandfather had to die and that was so hard to explain. Jack is six and he is trying to understand. Josh who is 2 asked me where grandpa was because he knows where I go grandpa goes. I tried to explain and I think they understood. In the end I told them to just put their hand on their heart and to just say I love you grandpa and he would hear their prayers.

Today I made all the final arrangements with the church and celebration site and I believe we are all set. Jim's son Tom comes tomorrow and we all hope to have dinner together.

Wanted to share some photos from yesterday.

Now I have a cold

Wouldn't you just know it, I've been healthy for 11 months and this weekend I get a cold. I've stayed in bed most of the day today and will worry about things tomorrow. I leave for Chicago tomorrow night so I have the whole day.

My friends Adrienne, Caty and Larry were here this weekend. They were here for Jean Christopher's funeral in Tampa on Saturday. It was a very nice service but very emotional for me. Bill had a videotape of Jean and Bill's wedding party running before the service and later at his home. Little did I know that when I heard the sound at Bill's home that it would be my Jim doing the video and his voice was everywhere because he was doing all of the interviewing of the guests. It as very odd for me to hear is voice this way. This video was taken 16 years ago. There was a segment on the video of Jim doing the polka. He was very light on his feet and all I could think of that he was whole again and dancing the polka. It drained me to watch this but in a very good way.

Now it's back to bed to get rid of the horrible cold.

Remembering

A friend sent me this poem today and it is really beautiful. I wanted to share it with all of you. I had a quiet day talking to friends and family. This photo was taken the first Christmas Jim and I spent together. It was also the first time I met Jim's family in South Bend. What a wonderful family they are and they love to be together. They just make you smile being with all this very large family. I come from a very small family so it was with great joy that I am part of their lives. I think about you every day as we face this loss together.

Do Not Cry
Do not cry for me, my dear…

My last wish is for you to

carry me with the breezes

when they swirl delicatelybeneath the storms you’ll

gather amidst your spirit.

As rain pelts harshly against your heart,

let the soothing trickle calm your soul.

When you feel like you’re drowning,

lay down quietly and savour the tranquillity

of memories, allow them to cleanse your pain.

I’ll speak to you through nature’s gifts

and I’ll never be far from your door.

When colourless clouds surround your mind,

I’ll paint them brightly with tones of love.

I’ll ask the birds who sing so sweetly

if I can borrow their voice

to remind you I haven’t gone far.

Every leaf or feather you see floating

is me, asking you not to cry.

Each pebble you see washed upon the shore

is your reminder that I didn’t die.

The rippling waters are my giggles

and the wave-tops are me saying hello.

Never forget how much I love you…