Thank You For The Love

I want to thank everyone for the friendship and love you have shown to me and our family. I can't tell you how much it means to me. Today I worked on the details that go with the death of a loved one and that kept me busy.

Around 4:00 I just didn't know what to do with myself. I have been going to the hospital every day and now what do I do. I decided to do what I have been doing every Wednesday and that was to go to Scrap and Dash at my local scrapbook store. I did what I love and that is to scrapbook the ones I love. It was very calming and the love I find there is wonderful.

Once again my sister made dinner for me and Mom was there along with our friend Barbara and Misty kept us entertained. Thank you Jackie for all you do.

Some of you have asked the addresses for next week. First Congregational United Church, 235 Keniworth, Elmhurst, IL 60126. 630-832-2580 The Brauer House, 57 N. Hillside, Hillside, IL. 708-449-8900.

The Arrangements to Celebrate Jim's Life

James Frederick Chiszar
December 1, 1940 – April 29, 2008
James F. Chiszar, 67, Sarasota, formerly of Naperville, Illinois, died April 29, 2008, from complications following open heart surgery. He fought a long and courageous battle with humor and patience.

A celebration of his life with be held May 9th at the First Congregational Church in Elmhurst, Illinois, at one o’clock. His family asks you join them afterward at the Brauer House, Hillside, to toast Jim’s life.

He is survived by his loving wife of nine years, Patricia; children, Thomas Chiszar, Sedona, Arizona, Robert Chiszar, daughter-in-law, Teresa, and three grandchildren, who were the joy of his life, Jackson, Joshua and Lucas, all of Bolingbrook, Illinois, and daughter Kathryn Chiszar, Naperville, Illinois; brother Robert Chiszar, Mokena, Illinois, and his sisters, Caroline Runnion and Nancy Chiszar, both of South Bend, Indiana. He was preceded in death by his beloved wife Sally Haley Chiszar.

James was a loving husband, father and avid bridge player. He retired to Sarasota in March of 2007, and all he wanted to do was play duplicate bridge. He was a member of the American Contract Bridge Association and had attained the rank of Silver Life Master. He was also a member of the South Bend Polish Falcon Nest.

Jim was born and raised in South Bend, Indiana. He graduated from Ball State University and worked as a teacher for three years before signing with Brown Paper Company. One of his biggest customers, Quality Chek’d, hired him to be their director of purchasing and he stayed in that position for 17 years. He began a second career in 1994 as a Tournament Bridge Director, a job he truly loved.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Multiple Sclerosis Society 2701 Maitland Center Pkwy - Suite100, Maitland, FL 32751 or online at Website: http://www.nationalmssociety.org/flc. Or the American Contract Bridge Association Education Foundation, 2990 Airways Blvd., Memphis, TN 38116.

Jim Is Now With God

We lost my loving Jim last night. The doctors were right when they told me it would be up to Jim when he would decide to go. He was fine when I left him at 6:00. By 8:00 his blood pressure was dropping. I went to the hospital and his BP was dangerously low. While I was there he responded to me and the pressure came up somewhat. I left him about 10:30 thinking he would be OK. By 12:30 he was gone. I went to him and said one last good bye. I told him how loved he was and that he would always walk beside me. I had also told him this earlier.

I will be taking Jim back to Chicago for a memorial service. Once I know the details I will let everyone know.

His struggle is over and he is now with God. Go in peace my love and know that I will always love you.

Challenge is Low Blood Pressure

Sorry I haven't blogged in a few days. I've spent a lot of time at the hospital and just too tired when I come home. Jim had a really good weekend and I have been enjoying those days.

Today is not so good but we knew there were challenges ahead. Tonight the hospital called and I went in. His blood pressure is dangeriously low. His heart rate and oxygen levels are normal and he has no temp. The blood pressure is just low. He may becoming septic again. We are not sure. I'll let you know as I know. It was 72 over 45 when I left. When I got there it was 45 over 23.

I'm saying my prayers.

Off the Vent Some Today

Yeah!!! They took Jim off the vent for awhile today and his oxygen level stayed at 100 percent. He was off for an hour and everything went well. He look so pleased with himself. Talking was a bit of a problem because it has been so long since he talked. He did get a few words out but they were very soft. Speech therapy is going to work with him on Monday with that. I just talked to the hospital and all of his vital signs are normal and he has no temp. For now he's just fine and we are enjoying each day as it comes.

Thank you Jackie for babysitting Misty tonight while I went to Scrapbook Therapy. You are the best.

Ugly Betty is Back

Tonight I went to see Jim at 8:00 so we could watch Ugly Betty together. What fun that was because it is one of our favorite shows and Jim loved that I was there to watch it with him. I couldn't stay for Grey's because visiting hours were over but the nurse told me he watched the whole show because she was in there with him and watching it with him.

No changes today. Everything is pretty much the same. We had a good day.

Got good news today that Jim's nephew does not need to have a heart transplant. Karen that is such wonderful news. Our hearts and prayers are with you. Jimmy is way to young to be facing these challenges. Hope this new medication works for him. Love to all.

Wednesday Update

Jim is still doing great for someone in his condition. Doctor's report: She added an anti-depressant to the food supplement and several of his other medications. Now that they have stopped the TPN and added the tube feeding they can give him his medication. His sugar levels have been a little high the past couple of days because of the new food supplements. She has added lantin to the mixture. That should bring down the level. Wounds are so ever slowly healing. He's alert and communicative. Still can't seem to get the vent off but we keep trying. He seems more alert at night. The nurses say he has turned his days upside down. He stayed awake at noon for Las Vegas and then this afternoon for Mash. Other than that he slept the rest of the time. Just now the nurses said he was awake and watching TV. So I guess he is turned around. He did say to me today, "take me home." It may come to thing if they stop the dialysis. The doctor and I talked a little about this today and it is a possibility.

Mom, Jackie and I went to bingo last night. I won 3 bingo's, Mom one and Jackie one plus she won the door prize. A good night for all.

This digital layout is part of my online digtal graphic class. It has taken me most of the past week to finish. I feel like I am really learning a lot. Hope it helps me get a job.

I went to the grocery store tonight. I think it was the first time since maybe February. I guess that is Mom and Jackie's fault for taking care of me. I passed several the things I bought on to Jackie to stock up for more cooking. Go Jackie.

Jackie and I took Misty for a run/walk tonight. I walked, Jackie rode her bicycle and Misty ran. In fact Jackie held on to the leash part of the time and she did not even have to pedal because Misty was pulling her on. We laughed so hard. Night all.

Even Doctor Surprised Today

Jim was even more alert today and even surprised Dr. Liggett. She said wow he's communicating with me today.

Saturday they started Jim on a heavier food substance through a tube they inserted in his nose that goes directly to his stomach. They could not do this surgically because of the past tube. The reason for this is that Jim has to be off of the TPN to move on to the next step as I explained a couple of days ago. He is tolerating it really well and it has even boosted his energy level. There is also a decreased issue of infection because it does not go through his blood vessels like the TPN. The TPN should be stopped tomorrow. He says he does not even feel it. When the doctor asked him today if he had any pain he shook his head no. She said to him you are my iron man.

So we proceed with out goals and hope for the best.

Jim in hospital 11 months

Jim has now been in the hospital 11 months. This has been an incredible journey for both of us. We have grown closer through this illness. When you spend everyday with another person with no outside activities it brings you closer together. In these 11 months there has only been one time I left him and that was when I went to Chicago. Other than that I have only missed one day with him. We have talked about so many things and about what we what. Jim has always said he wants to fight this illness. He has never waivered from this point. He has asked me to be there beside him in this fight. I can do no less for him.

However, we are losing this battle. The doctors tell me that the chance for recovery is very small and the doctors use words like, bleak and dismal. They also use words like rally and amazing. Our goal is to get Jim off dialysis and the ventilator and then to either go to Hospice House or to come home. The doctor says that a skilled nursing facility is awful and he will get virtually no care. He will probably come off dialysis this week as his kidneys are now functioning. Because of this we may be forced to leave Health South. Jim can not go to Hospice House if he is still on the ventilator. We tried today to get him off the vent and it did not go very well. We will continue to try this every day. He was alert and interacting with me today. When I left he was watching Matlock and you could tell he was actually watching it.

We will just have to see how this goes. I have had to make some very hard decisions and the decisions I have made I feel are what Jim wants and because of that then this is what we'll face together. The two layouts are both digital. Something that I do to keep my mind off of my troubles.

Jim is doing fine

I just left Jim and he's doing just fine. He's alert and watching TV. All of his vital signs are normal. The abscess he had several weeks ago has quit draining and there is just a very small hole there now. They took the wound vac off of the chest wound because the wound is so small they can no longer get a good seal on the wound. They are changing the dressings twice a day. His bed sore seems to be slowly healing. As for the infections inside his body we are not sure what is going on there because it is hard to tell. Tomorrow they are going to try him off of the vent and let him try to talk. It has been awhile so speech therapy may have to work with him on this. Tonight we interacted and he puckered up his lips for a kiss. You have to love that.

I've been really busy and have not been home much. Plus I spend a lot of time at the hospital especially now while he is alert.

Dialysis Cut Down

The doctors have decided that Jim's kidneys are working much better and have decided to cut dialysis from 3 days to 2. Good news for a change. Jim is strong willed and he will decide if he wants to get better or not. During dialysis today he was not as responsive as he has been during the past week. Hope it was just the dialysis that was draining him and not the infections.

So did I say yesterday that winter was here. Only a high of 67 today. I even wore long pants and the walk tonight was really chilly.

Went to bingo tonight and we were losers. One guy won 4 bingos. He was Mr. Piggy.

I'm still working on my digital class. I'm using some of Jim's old photos. I thought it would be fun to highlight some of his earlier years. He seems to enjoy them when I take them in for him to see. Night all.

Happy Birthday Teresa

Happy Birthday Teresa!

Today is my daughter-in-law's birthday. Enjoy your special day today.

Love Patty and Jim

PS Watch the mail today.

"Truly An Amazing Man"

I keep practicing on my digital layout class. I haven't started today's class because it is going to be so intense that I just didn't want to start today. Maybe tomorrow. This was a prompt from this weekend's assignments.

Dr. L wasn't back today from her vacation but lo and behold I did talk with Dr. H. To quote him, "He is truly an amazing man. It is going to take an even bigger bug to bring him down." He went on to say that Jim is "very" stable and his kidney function is returning. He is meeting with Dr. L and the kidney doctors in the morning to discuss his situation and possible discontinuation of dialysis. So you know what I know. He's awake and alert. Wants to go home!!!!! He asked me to take him home today. If only I could I would do it for him. The lung doc told me today he's improving and his vent status is good and continuing to improve. Yes he is an amazing man.

Winter has returned to Florida. It is currently 63 degrees outside and we only had a high today of 65. Now that is winter for us. It is so wonderful to have this break in the heat. Last week we hit 90 and you know that will continue until October. I am doing all of my outside chores this week. I got the porch clean and the carport. Picked fruit. Yes I still have several hundred oranges still on the tree. Orange juice anyone?

Misty and I took a walk and she played by the lake. It is so good for both of us. Just got back from the night walk and it was a little chilly out there. Night all.

Little Change

There was very little change today except he may have been a little more tired. I played "guy" for him. I was switching the channels between the Masters, the Cubs and the Socks. Since the hospital remote doesn't have numbers you have to go up and down. What a pain. They need new remotes to mimic the "guy" thing.

Temperatures cooled today. 87 yesterday and 68 for a high today. I wish this would stay around. I took advantage of the cooler temps and planted some flowers in my planter in from of the house. Misty tried to help but we had a good time anyway.

Thanks Mom for making dinner, the shrimp stir fry was great. I don't know if I shared with you that my sister brought me flowers during my melt down last week. Love you Jackie and they are still pretty.

e.

Friday Morning

I just wanted to share this layout. It is my 2nd layout in my Digi in Deep class that I am taking. This lesson started on Monday and I have just completed it. Remember this starts with a white sheet of paper and I had to place, draw and manipulate all of the elements just like I was scrapping with paper.

I just checked on Jim and he is doing fine. About the same as yesterday. I am off in a little while to see him. I probably won't be posting tonight because I am going to go to Scrap Therapy at K2 tonight. It is from 3 until midnight. Lots to do.

Plus my big challenge today is no water pressure. The entire complex is without pressure. In the shower you just get a dripple and the tolets aren't filling. Guess it's a good day to be gone all day.

Jim enjoying Masters

Jim was thoroughly enjoying the Masters today. I could tell because I was talking to him and he said don't talk so much. It was hard to figure out but I finally got it. 24 hour urine came back and his clearance is up to 19. Last week it was 10 so we are going the right way. They are going to do another one tomorrow and are considering taking him off of dialysis.

Jackie (my sister) left today to go see her son Rick. Now most of us know when to visit different cities based on what is going on. Jackie is not a golfer so she didn't get it. My nephew lives in Augusta. Now do you think this is the best weekend to go there. I told good luck and have a good time. Before she left she visited with Jim and told him she was going out of town and he better be good while she is gone. I hope he was listening.

This photo is of the bougainvillea that is in my yard. It is so beautiful right now. So for now all is well.

Not Much Change

There was not much change with Jim today. All vital remain the same and he is stable. He was a little sleepier today so we just hung out quietly and watched TV.

This photo is from my yard and it makes me happy.

We're on a Roller Coaster

Today started out pretty funny. Misty had her sights set on a Gecko. She chased it down but did not hurt it. The Gecko just stared her down until I dragged her back inside. It was hysterical to watch.

This is a photo of Jim todaywhile he was watching TV. You will notice his hair is very short. We had it cut so he would be more comforable. The words Dr. H used were "rallying" and "unbelievable." No one can understand what is happening with Jim right now. He is completely stable and all of his vital signs are normal. For me this is an emotional roller coaster. Two weeks ago they told me Jim would probably not make it through the night. Then they said the weekend. Then they said the week. Now they are saying he is stable and they are not sure what is going to happen. Jim is amazing and has this will to live that is surpassing everything that is wrong with him. Tomorrow we will know what the situations is with his kidneys and that will tell us something.

I do not know what tomorrow will bring but for today my Jim is there and fighting with all of his might. He was awake practically the entire day and communicating with everyone that came to see him. Everyone at the hospital is stopping in to see him because they want to see for themselves how he is doing. All of these people know the crisis he has been in and are dumbfounded.

As for me I am just enjoying every day I have with him. I am scared to death for us to hit that wall again and what that will mean for us.

Go Kansas

Rock, Choc, Jayhawk, Go K U. Tonight is the finals and let's hope Kansas comes out on Top.

Today Jim was amazing. He was just like his old self. Everyone was in total amazement.He has not been this good since before Christmas. He was awake. Interested in what was going on and he was back to pushing my hand away when I was fussing over him. No temp and his vitals were good. Another amazing thing from 6 to 6 he peed 2200 cc's. I love these days because he is so there and my Jim.

We are watching this carefully because they are doing a 24 hour urine test again. They started this test yesterday morning but the CNA pitched the urine last night so they had to start over today. I sometimes wonder what these people are thinking when there are signs everywhere and the urine bag is sitting in ice.

Off to the watch the game. Go Jayhawks. (I spent two semesters at Kansas University.)

We watched the cubs win today

Now this layout is part of my class. As part of this week's lesson we had to do another layout on our own. I only had to peek at the video's twice to complete this layout. Tomorrow I begin week 2 and have two assignments from last week that I still haven't done.

When I went in to see Jim today he had a fever of 99.8 and when I left it was 100.2. They were going to give him some Tylenol. He vitals were in the normal range otherwise. He slept through most of my visit. I put the cubs game on and thought maybe he would listen. Around the 3rd inning someone hit a home run and wow his eyes opened and he watched the TV. A least I know he was listening. By the end of my visit he was more awake and we were able to talk a little. His talking is more mouthing words and me trying to figure out what he is saying. It's easy to understand I love you and kisses when he puckers up. Love this guy.

Tonight my mom made a pot roast with all of the fixings. Thanks mom for dinner, it was great. We then played some cards and just relaxed. It rained the entire time we were there. I think the rainy season is here a little early.

Recharged Batteries

Ok I woke up today and was feeling lousy. I don't know if I had a bug or the stress had gotten to me. So I decided today I needed to recharge my batteries. I did not leave the house except to take Misty out in the backyard. I did not get dressed. I did not comb my hair I just vegetated and you know what I now feel better. I even cancelled out of the all day crop at K2.

I did not go see Jim today because for just today I was not any good for him. The nurses put the phone up to him and I told him that I wasn't feeling well and I would see him tomorrow. The nurse said he nodded. I did check in with them every couple of hours and he is fine. He had dialysis and the took 1.5 litres off of him. No temp and vitals are good. Tomorrow I will bring him sunshine.

Some wonder how I have handled Jim's illness and how I have stayed so strong. I don't know how but I have found the strength. Friday I snapped. I snapped at my wonderful daughter in law. I snapped at the nurse and I knew it was time for a time out. So after 12 hours of TV and just handing out I think I can face the world again. I still have laundry to do. I still have floors to clean and I still have a house to clean but these to shall wait.

The layout above is from my new photoshop class that started last Monday. It took me all week to do the 10 tasks for this layout. It is completely digital. It has 35 pieces to make up this one layout. There are so many things I learned doing this layout. I did not know that this photoshop software would allow you to do so many things. I still have 4 or 5 more projects to do just to complete this first week of class. The class runs 4 weeks so I guess I better catch up.

It is pouring outside right now. Thunder and lightening. What a great way to end a perfect rejuvenation day.

We Had Another Day Together

I have decided to celebrate everyday that I get to spend with Jim. Right now he is stable and is holding his own. We do not know how long this will last. I am going to love him and enjoy each day. There are to many disappointments in life to do otherwise. I have been wallowing and came home and went to bed at 6:30. This is not me. This is not what Jim would want. I am going to get myself together and face each challenge throw at me head on. I am there for you Jim and I will not fall apart. Hold my hand and the two of us will face this together. How does the song go, "I will celebrate my life with you . . . "

Not much new

Not much new to report. Jim is doing about the same. His vital signs haven't changed much and he has a temp once in a while but the fan seems to bring it down. Today he was sleeping but when I put the Cubs game on his eye snapped open and he watched the game. Small pleasures.

Tonight his friend Gitta had to say good bye because she is leaving for Naples in the morning. I know he will miss her because a tear dropped out of each of his eyes. It was so sad I just had to walk away and so did his nurse.

Thanks Jackie for the hot dogs and hamburgers tonight. Love you.

Jim is such a strong man

This is a picture from lunch yesterday. Here you can see where we ate and how close it is to the beach. Actually it is right on the beach.

Today Jim was awake in the morning, asleep in the afternoon and awake at night. His BP fluctuated today. Sometimes 95/72 other times 70/55. When I kiss him his heart rate fluctuates. It is really fun to watch the monitor and then kiss him again. So today we did a lot of kissing. He had a temp mid afternoon but it was back down before dinner. It is so hard to watch him go through all of these changes. Sometimes I see in his eyes such strength and will to fight this battle and other times like when he has a temp I see despair. This is all so unfair.

Tonight we had dinner at my sisters. Gitta and I picked up some steaks and we cooked them on the grill during a thunderstorm. The lightening was incredible. Misty did not like it at all. When I picked her up to take her to Jackie's there was a big thunder crash. She trembled all the way to Jackie's house and then I still had to calm her down. And tonight she was not having that wet grass.

Up and Down Day

Today was kinda of up and down for Jim. This morning he was doing fine. All his vital signs were within normal range and he was alert and responsive. Kidney doctor pleased with him and decided dialysis would take off 2 and a half liters of fluid.

During dialysis my sister took Gitta and I down to Sharkey's for lunch. The resturant is right on the beach and you have this glorious view while lunching. Food was OK, typical beach food but it was fun.

When we got back to the hospital they were just finishing dialysis. This had worn him out but he was OK. At the end of our visit he was running a temperature of 100.8 so they gave him some Tylenol. He was pretty tired and slept through most of our visit. I was a little concerned about what was going on around the hospital. I still don't have a copy of the bill even though I asked for it 10 days ago. Second they only had one CNA for 33 patients which means he is not getting the attention he should. And this next thing pissed me off. They told me that I could no longer bring Misty to the hospital because it was their new policy. But guess what. One of the nurses today brought in her dog because she was in labor. Now I have a lot of sympathy for the dog but come on the patients love their dogs to and they can no longer visit. This does not seem fair to me. Ok that was my little bitch for the day.

We then went off to the usual bingo night. Mom is the only one that got to yell Bingo tonight. We had our normal pizza and soda's. We introduced Gitta to bingo and proved the theory of the new by winning wrong.

We made a quick visit back to the hospital and Jim's blood pressure was very low. It was 80 over 55 with a stolic of 63. I'm a little worried about this but Mary said she would watch him carefully. He was more alert and responsive to me and his fever had gone down.