I met Jim in November of 1997 and we got close very quickly. I remember that first New Year's Eve. Jim was in Chicago and I was in Safety Harbor. At the stroke of midnight he called me to wish me a Happy New Year. We stayed on the phone until the stroke of midnight in Chicago. He told me at midnight that he never wanted to spend another New Year's without me. WE had many wonderful New Year celebrations. They were festive and they were spent with our close friends. Last year we were together in the hospital and it was just as special being together. You promised me you were going to get better and honey you did your best but your poor body just did not cooperate.
Today I remembered all these special times and I miss you so much. Today I experienced what the books tells you will happen to you. Intense grief emotions are difficult to describe to those who have not experienced them. The often come to us at unexpected times, sometimes with no warning and with no evident "trigger". I know what today's "trigger" is, it's New Year's eve and we are not together. I had a doctor appointment this morning for my B12 shot and I cried through the whole appointment. Then I came home and with a rush of energy I cleaned the kitchen until it was spotless. Then feeling completely drained I went to bed and just thought about you and the great times we had.
Tonight I'll be awake at the stroke of midnight and I will be thinking about you and hope you are dancing the night away.
